Ask Complex: Which Team Will Win Super Bowl XLIX?

On this week's "Ask Complex," the topic is a no-brainer. Today, the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks will go head-to-head to decide the NFL's champion. After a year that was tainted by scandals involving domestic abuse, child abuse, and general incompetence from the commissioner and his cronies, the fans are at least given the consolation prize of what figures to be a supremely enjoyable Super Bowl XLIX.

The game has more storylines than the Patriots had deflated balls: Seattle's chance to win back-to-back championships, Marshawn Lynch's on-going feud with the media, the lingering shadow of Ballghazi, and Tom Brady's opportunity to become one of the winningest Super Bowl quarterbacks ever, to name a few.

We can't be certain about who will win, but we've decided to at least take a stab at it. Today, every writer on our team gives you their pick for the winner of the NFL's grand finale. Scroll through, read their arguments, and then share your personal pick with us in the comments section.

Send all complaints, compliments, and tips to [email protected].

Winner: Patriots

Score: 31-27

I’m going with the Patriots based upon three factors:

The first, “Deflategate,” may have distracted New England from a week of valuable preparation, but come game-day it’ll serve as extra motivation for the Pats to stick it to Seattle (and by extension everyone else) for writing off their season and using a slightly deflated bag of footballs as the primary reason they won the AFC. You may say “Who needs extra motivation during Super Bowl week?” But that thing wasn’t just the headliner on SportsCenter, it was leading off national news broadcasts. Usually teams use that us against the world rallying BS regardless of the situation, so I expect Belichick to hammer home that message when there’s some actual evidence to back it up.

Winner: Seahawks

Score: 21-16

​The Legion of Boom against guys like Brandon LaFell and Julian Edelman isn't a fair fight. They'll double Gronk, shut down the wideouts with man coverage and keep Brady as snug as his Ugg boots with pressure from the D-line. Russell Wilson will hit on a bomb to Jermaine Kearse and they'll both cry enough pure, unadulterated tears to supply third-world nations for decades.

Winner: Patriots

Score: 24-18

I gotta bet on the Patriots. I just don’t see Tom Brady and Bill Belichick losing their third straight Super Bowl. That’s admittedly a superficial reason, but that’s what it boils down to.

I’d love to root for the team with the heart against the squad that’s been the image of NFL ruthlessness and efficiency. But the team with the heart is the team that’s the most fallible. Kudos to Russell Wilson for holding it together against the Packers for the comeback. Honestly, I’ve seen him as less of a game buster and more of the dude who won’t fuck up. With four interceptions, he was the dude who fucked up for the majority of the conference championship (to be fair, it wasn’t completely his fault). The Patriots, on the other hand, scored a combined 80 points this postseason. New England also comes in with one of its strongest defensive corps in recent memory. It’s top 10 in rushing yards allowed — which certainly helps against Marshawn Lynch — and people forget that Revis Island is still a thing after Richard Sherman’s emergence.

It would be dope if the Super Bowl ended with Lynch holding his nuts and Sherman in tears as he dedicates the win to his newborn son. But that’s not happening. The Patriots are like a video game’s final boss. You need multiple tries to beat it. Unfortunately for the Seahawks, the Super Bowl only allows one.

Winner: Seahawks

Score: 27-21

Am I allowed to say neither here? As a New York Giants fan, I feel like I'm contractually obligated not to root for Tom Brady and the Patriots during the Super Bowl, regardless of whether or not we're playing against them. But at the same time, I don't think I can take another week of the media trying to get Marshawn Lynch to talk to them. So I'm not sure who to take or who I'll be rooting for in the big game (can Super Bowls end in a tie?!). I guess I have to pick someone, though, so I'll say…Seattle (ugh). Yes, it means another few days of Marshawn Mania. But it also means we'll (hopefully!) get to see Beast Mode dance in the Seahawks' locker room again to some random hyphy song while reporters ask him questions that he won't answer. So…Go 'Hawks! I guess.

Winner: Patriots

Score: 24-20

It will be such a relief for all the talk about balls and who did or didn’t put air in them to finally die down, and for us to finally see some actual football. All the #DeflateGate nonsense has distracted us from the fact that this is actually a really good game with a ton of interesting matchups, and by all accounts should be the best game of the season. The reason New England is going to win this game comes down to this: the advantage the Patriots’ defense has over the Seahawks’ offense is greater than any advantage the Seahawks’ defense has over the Patriots’ offense.

The Pats will be able to throw a ton of bodies at Marshawn Lynch, trusting DarrelleRevis et al. to cover Seattle’s mediocre receiving corps one-on-one. The Seahawks secondary will have their hands full with the Pats’ passing game, and should see a steady diet of LeGarrette Blount as well; they’re equipped to handle all of it, but lack the ferocious pass-rushing front four that can totally disrupt Tom Brady’s timing. Throw in one big Julian Edelman punt return, and the Pats should have enough to win a close one.

Winner: Seahawks

Score: 21-17

While most of the focus will be on the effectiveness of the Legion of Boom, and rightfully so, the key to the Seattle Seahawks' success is going to be on their ability to put pressure on Tom Brady. Just ask the New York Giants. If Seattle's secondary can limit the New England Patriots' quick, go-to plays for Julian Edelman and Kam Chancellor can effectively shadow Rob Gronkowski, the defensive end tandem of Cliff Avril and Michael Bennett should have a decent amount of time to rattle Brady a little bit.

If there's one way to beat Brady, and a lot of other quarterbacks for that matter, it's by getting into their head and making them believe they have less time in the pocket than they actually do. Panic creates bad reads which leads to mistakes and the Seahawks tend to capitalize on those situations.

Even though Bill Belichick does a great job of preparing and picking out an opponent's tendencies, there are some aspects of Seattle's game that you just cannot plan for. Russell Wilson's ability to Houdini his way out of the most dire situations, the task of having to take down Marshawn Lynch in the open field and determining which receiver (or tight end) will go off on any given night, to name a few.

An excellent defense with a deceptively good offense was the formula to the Seahawks' success last season and it's why they will repeat with their victory over the Patriots in Super Bowl XLIX.

Winner: Seahawks

Score: 24-17

The New York Gi…Just kidding. The New England Patriots are poised to make their sixth Super Bowl appearance since 2002, and with a win, Tom Brady can lay serious claim as the best quarterback in NFL history. The Seattle Seahawks thrive off of the fastest defense to play in the Super Bowl era, and if they repeat as champions, surely this group has to be mentioned alongside the likes of the ’85 Bears, 71’ Vikings, and ’76 Steelers. But Super Bowl XLIX is far from just New England’s offense against Seattle’s defense.

New England’s defense, led by Vince Wilfork in the front, and Brandon Browner and Darrelle Revis in the back, are no pushover. Russell Wilson has achieved more in his first three seasons than most quarterbacks will in their entire careers, but he’s still 26, and has shown on several occasions that he’s susceptible to making mistakes under pressure. See the NFC Championship game two weeks ago. But, Russell Wilson has also shown that he possesses that extra something special. That ability to improvise when it trouble, find an open receiver, and use his head just as much as his legs. This maybe a different trip to Glendale, Ariz. for Brady and Belichick, but the result will be the same as it was in 2008.

Winner: Patriots

Score: 28-24

There are so many reasons for me to pick against the Patriots: #DeflateGate, any lingering ghosts from New England's last visit to Glendale, Ariz., the Legion of Boom, Russell Wilson's ability to spin any broken play into a first down, the slight chance that Beast Mode would actually tell Roger Goodell to hold his dick if Seattle won. Plus, let's think about it: last season, the Denver Broncos fielded the most efficient offense in NFL history, and they were still beaten by the Hawks. More like demolished, actually. For the second year in a row, the Seahawks are the No. 1 defense in both points and yards allowed; they've haven't gotten any worse. Why should Tom Brady fare any better than Peyton Manning did?

I don't really have an answer. I just know that I want Brady to win one last Super Bowl before he finally hangs it up. The first Super Bowls I ever watched were won by him and, in my opinion, there's been no better championship game since New England edged Carolina in 2004.

So, yes, if you're wondering, nostalgia is the only thing pulling me toward New England. My head is saying to me: "Dude, what? Are you serious right now? You can't be serious right now."

But there's another voice reminding me that some situations defy logic, especially in the NFL. Sports is all about happy endings, even when it seems inconvenient or undeserved. Ray Lewis was an alleged accomplice to murder, treated himself with Hyper Potions leading up to Super Bowl XLVII, and regularly invoked the word of God in borderline incoherent ways. But he still got to go out on top! Yeah, Brady is a pretty boy. Sure, he's possibly a "cheater." But, after suffering two heart-breaking losses at the doorstep of his fourth ring, are you seriously telling me that this guy is going to lose again?

Winner: Seahawks

Score: 28-27

Wouldn’t it be something else if we lived in a world where Tom Brady, winner of his first three Super Bowl appearances, lost his last three to end his career? As much as I don’t think that’s possible, it’s totally going to happen. This Patriots team might be the most balanced team Brady and Billy have put together since their last ring, and they’ve been on a mission to defy Trent Dilfer’s dumbass since he called them “not good anymore” in September. That won’t be enough though.

The Seahawks defense is historically good (although the secondary is more vulnerable than ESPN’s "Legion of Boom" programming will lead to you believe), and this decade’s due for a back-to-back champ. It’ll be Russ’s boys, and Marshawn will do the lion’s share of the wrecking duties. Just for good looks too, Russ has got Katy Perry on his side, or rather, the side? Who knows what texting can lead to. I like these Hawks. Fall back, Pats.

Winner: Patriots

Score: 33-24

I think I'm insane.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result, right? Well, here I am, in all my insane glory, about to do the same thing I did last year while expecting a different result.

I'm picking against the Seahawks.

Last year I just KNEW that the NFL was going to hand that pizza-selling forehead Peyton Manning another title, and that offense would naturally overpower defense because of today's can't-touch-the-receiver rules. And last year I was really fucking wrong. Forty-three-to-eight-level wrong.

Yet here I am, one year later, expecting the Patriots to do what last year's Broncos couldn't. Which is crazy, because as recently as this Monday my pick was Seattle. But one game of Madden and a few glances at the Seattle injury report later...I'm back on the dark side.

Goodell couldn't possibly have his main boul Robert Kraft take an L to a team featuring a guy who defiantly (and hilariously) grabs his nuts while going into the end zone, right? Earl Thomas and Richard Sherman couldn't possibly come back full strength after respective dislocated shoulder and sprained elbow injuries, right? Tom Brady couldn't possibly lose a third-straight Super Bowl...right?

Right.

So against my gut feeling (Seattle's D bullies the Pats), against everything I love (Marshawn Lynch), and against my own personal interests (not wanting hordes of awful Boston fans in my mentions), I'm picking New England to win Super Bowl XLIX. Brady's the GOAT and is coached by a cheating genius.

33-24 Patriots. God help us all.