It’s official, folks. Drake is a father. After weeks of silence, the superstar rapper finally took the time to address an explosive rumor that was kicked into overdrive by Pusha-T in late May. (The rumor actually began making the rounds months earlier, most notably on pop culture podcast The Read, in January.) In a scorcher of a diss, “The Story of Adidon,” King Push made a powerful series of “observations,” but the strongest one of all accused Drake of something unspeakable: “You are hiding a child,” Pusha stated clearly. “Let that boy come home.”

The revelation turned the rap industry on its head. While it’s not not clear if Drake will be allowed to let his son live with him, he is, at least, no longer hiding his child. Fatherhood will be a completely different look for Drizzy, and we’re eager to see how it’ll affect his music. It’s already begun with Scorpion, which gives us our first round of real insights into Aubrey’s family situation. So there’s no better time to start ranking Drake’s dad bars. Let the games begin.

"Fairy tales are saved for the bedtime stories I tell you now / I don’t want you worried about whose house you live at / Or who loves you more, or who’s not there / Who did what to who ‘fore you got here / Naw, look, I’m too proud to let that come between me and you now / Realize I gotta think for two now, I gotta make it, I better make it / I promise if I’m not there then I’m dedicated"

Song: "March 14"
Parental Vibes: The promise of a good dad

It's hard to tell how good of a father Drake will be based on these lines, but, at the very least, it's good to hear Drake saying he's dedicated to being a better father than his own dad was. —khal

"I wasn't hidin' my kid from the world / I was hidin' the world from my kid / From empty souls who just wake up and looked to debate / Until you starin' at your seed, you can never relate"

Song: "Emotionless"
Parental Vibes: The type of dad to block your access to the internet until you're 15, regularly stalk your social profiles, and leave embarrassing comments you're forced to flag as spam

A direct response to Pusha's most potent barb on "The Story of Adidon"—”You are hiding a child, let that boy come home”—the logic behind Drake's attempt to flip the script falls flat. Are we really to believe Drake kept his newborn shrouded in secrecy because the internet is a scary place? We get trying to be an overprotective dad, but the reasoning just doesn’t track. We’ll never know if Drizzy intended to share the news with us all along or keep Sophie and his son in the shadows forever, but one thing is certain—he wasn’t shielding him from Instagram posturing and mean-spirited bloggers—he was shielding himself from our scrutiny. —Shanté Cosme

"That shit is in stone, sealed and signed / She’s not my lover like Billie Jean, but the kid is mine"

Song: "March 14"
Parental Vibes: The "back in my day, I was the biggest pop star that ever lived" dad

In one of the most cemented admissions of his new venture into fatherhood, Drake invokes the spirit of Michael Jackson to let the world know about his much-speculated child. It's something that only he would do—given that he unearthed an unreleased MJ recording for another song off of Scorpion, "Don't Matter To Me"—and it's almost a little too on the nose. Drake is clearly aware of his status in pop culture. By using the biggest pop star that ever lived to tell his personal life story, The Boy is going all in with his role of being a pop papi. —Kiana Fitzgerald

"They said that in two weeks you’re supposed to come in town / Hopefully by the time you hear this me and your mother will have come around instead of always cutting each other down"

Song: "March 14"
Parental Vibes: The "always arguing around the kid" dad

One thing you shouldn't be doing is bringing a young child into your arguments, especially if you're also indicating that you aren't always around the child. That time should be special and spent bonding and getting to know each other, not harping on cutting the child's mother down. —khal

"Kiss my son on the forehead, then kiss your ass goodbye"

Song: "8 Out of 10"
Parental Vibes: The dad who actually shows physical affection

Drake gifted us with the pure, wholesome visual of himself kissing Adonis on the forehead (objectively the sweetest spot to kiss someone), followed immediately by a dismissal of the doubters and possible Sheek Louch reference. The duality of man, am I right? —Carolyn Bernucca

"I got a empty crib in my empty crib / I only met you one time, introduced you to Saint Nick / He must’ve brought you like 20 gifts"

Song: "March 14"
Parental Vibes: The type of Dad to miss his visitation hours and try to make up for it by taking you to the toy store

Is there anything sadder than envisioning a grown-ass man in a vacant home where the only piece of furniture is a crib? Drake has pulled the strings on our sympathies before, but this is damn near manipulative. But before you wipe away a tear for Drizzy, consider that his son was born on October 11 and he admits to having only met him once over two months later. A dad who has never met his child arriving with armfuls of presents? That might be the most somber image Aubrey has painted for us yet. —Shanté Cosme

"I'm not with the ra-ra / I am a Dada"

Song: "Mob Ties"
Parental Vibes: The "daaaaaaad, not that joke again" dad

Drake just couldn't resist. It was on his spirit to rhyme something, anything, with Dada. And he chose "ra-ra," the furthest thing from the peace of fatherhood. You see, "ra-ra" means hoopla, or kerfuffle, if you will. It means a calamity of commotion. (On second thought, maybe that describes fatherhood perfectly...) In any case, Drake took this opportunity to let people know that he is in fact not with the shits anymore. He has a son to take care of. —Kiana Fitzgerald

"Single father, I hate when I hear it / I used to challenge my parents on every album / Now I'm embarrassed to tell them I ended up as a co-parent / Always promised the family unit / I wanted it to be different because I've been through it / But this is the harsh truth now"

Song: "March 14"
Parental Vibes: The dad who always talks shit about your grandparents

Everyone swears they won’t fuck up their kids the way their parents fucked them up, until, presumably, they become parents. The childhood trauma jumped out! Someone tell Drake that you can still have a family unit even if your parents aren’t together… unless you waste bars on your album exposing your shitty relationship with your baby mama. Now that’s a harsh truth. —Carolyn Bernucca

"Sandi used to tell me all it takes is one time / And all it took was one time / Shit, we only met two times, two times / And both times were nothin' like the new times / Now it's rough times, I'm out here on front lines / Just tryin' to make sure that I see him sometimes"

Song: "March 14"
Parental Vibes: The "maybe you shouldn't work this weekend so you can spend time with your child" dad

Not to say that Drake isn't a busy man, but he's making mad bank. If he has to take some time from the "front lines" to attend to the child that it only took "one time" to make, he can more than afford to do that. Hopefully it's more often than "sometimes," but that would involve us getting too deep into the personal lives of Drake and his child's mother. —khal