For the latest installment of POSTPOSTPOST, Bianca Censori, who is married to the artist formerly known as Kanye West, wrote an essay in which she explained why she often feels “misunderstood.”
In the essay, which can be read in full here, Censori wrote that she doesn’t enjoy interviews, and begrudged how written words can be “sanitized” or “stripped of tone, scent, timing, breath.” She recalled that she’s only done one interview throughout her career as a performance and conceptual artist, and she didn’t “fully recognize the person they interviewed.”
In the essay, she spoke about how she sat with an art dealer at the Chateau Marmont, and they asked if she could “perform” at a gallery, “as though I were a circus act.” She said she felt flattered by the offer, “but also misunderstood.”
“When I feel misunderstood, I swing in the opposite direction,” she explained. “God mode. And then, inevitably, mouse mode. At night, I lie awake and feel the weight of existence in a way that has nothing to do with material lack. I feel misunderstood. I wonder if I will ever be known in the way I know myself.”
Elsewhere in the piece, she also wrote about reading through bipolar episodes with Ye, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and how a Reddit post from an anonymous user opened her eyes.
“They said bipolar disorder makes you realize your sense of self isn’t tied to your actions, beliefs, or ethics, like everyone thinks it is,” she wrote. “Because all of those can dissolve and reconfigure, depending on your state of mind. The only thing that remains consistent, the only thing that might be true, is your ability to reflect on them.”
