Key Takeaways
- Christy Carlson Romano says Hilary Duff’s mother, Susan, urged her during a Cadet Kelly lunch to know her worth, stop people-pleasing and embrace the power of saying no.
- Romano says the advice took 15 years to click, while other young stars have remembered Susan as both an intense “stage mom” and an influential advocate.
- Romano will share more stories from her Disney Channel years in her memoir, Once Upon a Trainwreck: The Fall and Rise of a Child Star, arriving Oct. 6.
Christy Carlson Romano is getting ready to spill plenty of Disney Channel tea in her upcoming memoir, and she's already giving fans a taste. The latest story? A lesson from Hilary Duff's mom that Romano says took her 15 years to fully understand.
On Saturday, September 12, the Even Stevens alum shared a TikTok about filming the 2002 cult favorite Cadet Kelly with Duff in Canada. Romano made it clear from the start that there was no co-star beef between them.
“I loved Hilary,” she said. “She's not what people expected. Sweet, hardworking, a totally normal girl. We had a genuinely great time.”
Her mother was another matter entirely. Romano described Susan Duff as “maybe five feet tall” and “a force of nature,” the kind of person who wasn't shy about speaking her mind. Romano found that out over lunch.
Near the end of the shoot, Susan took both girls out, and before long, Romano realized she was being sized up. “She’s staring at me from across the table. This, like, quiet, focused stare,” Romano recalled. “Finally, she leans in. ‘You seem like a very agreeable person. A yes woman.’”
Romano pushed back a little, but Susan kept going. “She leaned closer. ‘When someone sits forward, you sit back,’” Romano continued. “I literally said, ‘I have no idea what you mean.’”
Susan eventually told her to learn the power of saying no, know her worth and stop being so eager to please.
“I remember sitting there thinking, these people are playing chess, and my mom and I are barely playing checkers,” Romano said. “I love my mom, but Hilary's mom saw something in me that I hadn't figured out yet. I've been trained since childhood to be agreeable, to comply, to never inconvenience anyone. And it was quietly costing me everything.”
By her own account, it took another “decade and a half” before any of it clicked.
Susan's approach has left an impression on other young stars, too. Last year, Frankie Muniz called her “the epitome of a stage mom” and “super intense” while recalling how Hilary landed Agent Cody Banks.
The Malcolm in the Middle star said Susan first heard about the movie while he was working on a 2002 episode of Lizzie McGuire. She asked what he was filming that summer and whether there might be a role for Hilary. By the next day, Frankie said, his fellow Disney star had signed on.
That caught him off guard because his contract gave him some say in the casting. Still, he made clear Hilary wasn't the problem, saying the two had an “awesome relationship” and that his frustration was with how the deal came together.
Cadet Kelly co-star Andrea Lewis has her own memories of Susan. She told People in 2024 that Hilary and her mother were “very influential” for her and her own mom, with Susan encouraging them to pursue opportunities in Los Angeles and “really stand on stuff.”
Lewis also remembered being struck by just how much Hilary already had going on. She had a record deal, a television series and a movie in the works, something Lewis said was “very aspirational” to see at such a young age.
Hilary herself has framed her mother's involvement as support rather than pressure.
Addressing the “stage mom” label earlier this year, she said she was “never pushed into acting” or “pushed into singing” and credited Susan with helping her navigate an industry that often left their family “up against a machine.”
Romano's Once Upon a Trainwreck: The Fall and Rise of a Child Star arrives Oct. 6.
