Lil Nas X might be a household name now, but there was a portion of his life when his mental health almost consumed him in a fatal way. 

On Tuesday, Lil Nas X posted a series of TikToks that shared a portion of his life story. In the first installment, the entertainer explained how he was the first in his family to go to college. Yet, he had no friends, was depressed, and struggled with grief due to his grandmother’s passing. This manifested itself in the form of depression and hypochondria. 

“I started going to the doctor a lot in fear that I would die soon… hypochondria. In May 2018 I started making music. I was happy again!!!” he wrote before detailing how he dropped out of college, moved in with his sister, and started making music with his brother to release his debut mixtape Nasarati. 

Unfortunately, these good times didn’t last. His sister kicked him out of her home and his brother left to join the military. He was forced to move in with his other brother where domestic violence plagued the home.

He starts the second TikTok with the story of his smash single, “Old Town Road.” He details how he used memes to promote the song because he didn’t have any money to pay for the promotion. This prompted TikTokers to create the “Yeehaw Challenge” which broke “Old Town Road” into the mainstream.

Lil Nas X explains in the ensuing TikTok how the mounting pressure of fame sparked anxiety. But fortunately, he was able to break the “one-hit-wonder” curse and continue to build a successful career. This afforded him enough money to put his mother in rehab and help change the lives of people he loves. 

Still, Lil Nas X had to battle suicidal thoughts, his mother’s addiction, and relationship issues that he spells out in the following TikToks.