Kid Cudi is mourning the death of his beloved dog and best friend Freshie, who had been with him on his creative journey for more than a decade.

As Cudi detailed to fans Monday night, he and Freshie were first brought together in 2010 due to the artist’s role as Domingo Brown on HBO’s How to Make It in America. At the time, Cudi was aiming to feel more comfortable around dogs on the set of the Ian Edelman-created series. Eventually, however, Freshie became a mainstay in Cudi’s life.

“He loved me,” Cudi said. “He really did. He came up and licked me if I was crying, he loved to lay in bed with me, he was always by my side or close by. He was my [guardian] angel. Nights I’d want to cut myself, I’d see Freshie and I couldn’t do it. He would stare at me when I would have a knife to my stomach, eyes glaring at me telling me to put the knife down. My life will be a lil more empty with him gone.”

Freshie, Cudi said, passed “a few days ago” at home while surrounded by his family.

“I told him he was a special boy, my best friend, that he was perfect, and that I loved him and I’ll miss him so, so much,” Cudi said. “I felt his last breath.”