“How about sharks hopped up on cocaine?”
This sentence, in all its undeniable glory, arrives mere seconds into a recent news report from the folks over at KTLA, and for good reason. As you’ve no doubt been made aware in recent days, the inevitably interwoven topics of inadvertent cocaine ingestion and shark behavior have finally collided. Unsurprisingly, this collision is due largely to the plethora of Shark Week-related releases being rolled out by Discovery Channel.
More specifically, these potential so-called “cocaine sharks” would hypothetically exist in, you guessed it, Florida.
In short, the working theory is that bales of cocaine, if detached or otherwise separate from their intended transportation method, could make their way into the mouths of sharks.
“We didn't need to drop them out of a plane,” Tom "the Blowfish" Hird, a marine biologist, recently told Yahoo News of dropping bales of simulated cocaine into the water from an airplane for Cocaine Sharks, which is set to premiere on July 26. “But actually, there is science there: We found when they were hitting the water, they were making a much bigger slap than we thought. Those kind of noises are attractants. So you could be getting sharks brought into an area thinking, ‘Oh, there are wounded fish here,’ and actually it’s dissolving bales of cocaine.”
Put another way, the special sounds like it's certain to deliver on the succinct promise of its title, much like this year's theatrical hit Cocaine Bear, directed by Elizabeth Banks.
If you’re thinking, Oh wow this would make for a great movie especially considering the box office success of Cocaine Bear, then stop right there; turns out, you’re too late. Cocaine Shark, directed by Mark Polonia, came out earlier this month.
Reliably, cocaine has long been a staple of headlines. This facet of the nose candy experience is almost certainly never going to end; in fact, there’s surely a new coke story in progress somewhere in the world, at this very moment.
