Today in abject preposterousness, we have this: A Tennessee Republican apparently genuinely believes that grocery stores peddle pornography and that's why America is the leading provider of school shootings.

During a meeting with local pastors last week, as captured in a Huffington Post-shared recording, Rep. Diane Black—who's apparently trying to secure the title of Tennessee governor —said the enjoyment of porn is a "big part" of what causes people who live in a gun-worshipping nation to so easily carry out massacres.

After some remarks about never seeing gun fuckery in school when she was a kid, Black spotted a distant shark and promptly jumped it. "As a nurse, I go back to [the] root cause," she told a room full of people who, sadly, probably agreed with her. "I think it's a couple things. I think it's deterioration of the family. They don't have that good support system, so they're looking for something. And where are they looking?"

Black then outlined for what, in her opinion, these children are looking. "Maybe on the internet, maybe with a small group of friends, and they're going in the wrong direction," she said before a brief aside about so-called "blow-em-up" movies. Finally, she made her ludicrous porn point: 

Pornography. It's available. It's available on the shelf when you walk in the grocery store. Yeah, you have to reach up to get it, but there's pornography. All of this is available without parental guidance. And I think that's a big part of the root cause.

Worst of all, Black saying all this shit forced me to spend nearly 30 minutes scouring Getty's putrid selection of poorly staged pornography-related photos. I am hereby requesting that the Republican National Committee reimburse me for my wasted time.