Happy Tuesday, Florida. How are things? Surely sensing the nation's desire to hear a glorious tale about a noted Florida man tossing a gator through a Wendy's drive-thru window, your brilliant state has ceremoniously delivered. As one might assume, this unwitting alligator had absolutely zero interest in sampling the Baconator and fries, a.k.a. the Saddest Lunch of All Time:
According to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission incident report quoted by WPTV, the suspected gator tosser committed the heinous act of general tomfoolery back in October but wasn't picked up by U.S. Marshals until this week. Joshua James, a 23-year-old whose fast food gator toss also landed him on Uproxx, reportedly launched the presumably annoyed three-and-a-half foot creature into the restaurant after placing an order and receiving his preferred beverage.
James now faces a bevy of seemingly serious charges, including aggravated assault and (not making this up) unlawful possession and transportation of an alligator. The gator, later released without trying that aforementioned Baconator, was not harmed during this distinctly Floridian encounter.