Oh Florida, you never disappoint. When citizens of the Sunshine State aren’t being arrested for breaking into jail or getting eaten by an alligator while hiding out from the police, they’re stealing sex toys. In all fairness, shoplifting an adult toy is pretty mild compared to other stories coming out of the state but the man caught in the act had an awesome reason—he was too embarrassed to make the purchase.
Christopher Masters was arrested after a manager at a Spencer's in Vero Beach caught him stealing an “Arouz’d screw butt plug,” the Smoking Gun reports. The worker saw him removing the toy from the packaging before alerting the authorities. Masters allegedly took an “Arouz’d stroker can” as well.
When questioned by police, the 32-year-old told them he had the money to buy them but was “too embarrassed” to pay at the register. The toys in question are valued at a combined $29.98, which is significantly less than the $500 bail he posted.
Masters is charged with shoplifting which, thankfully, is a misdemeanor. Still, it's a hefty price to pay for temporary peace of mind.