Right now there's a lot of shit going down in the American sports world. The NCAA tournament is in the opening (and best) rounds where games broadcast continuously from noon to almost midnight, MLB's Opening Day is a week off, you're a month out from seeing Mel Kiper for the one and only time all year, the NBA and NHL seasons are wrapping up with the playoffs on-deck, and even Johnny Manziel just signed with the AAF.

To keep it short, you got lots of options.

In Russia, you don't have a buffet on that level. I'm not sure any country does, really. But you can watch a collection of tanks participate in the very literal "male slapping championships," which took place at an event called the Siberian Power Show. The concept is not very highbrow but it's still liable to get you hooked. Here's how it works. One guy slaps his opponent as hard as he can. Then the other guy returns the favor. Eventually one quits or gets knocked out.

A similar event took place at the Power Show last year. And, according to this tweet, the winner gets around $460, so there must be a real love of the sport that makes these incredible athletes relatable to us commoners:

In addition to that clip, here's a couple more highlights so you get the general idea:

If you want the kids to have a shot at a scholarship before this gets big then sign them up young. Or, like lacrosse before it, sleep on it at your own risk.