24. New Jersey Nets

2010-11 Record: 24-58 (Did not make playoffs)
Key Returning Players: Deron Williams, Brook Lopez
Key Additions: Shawne Williams
Key Losses: None
This Week: @ Washington, Monday (12/26); vs. Atlanta, Tuesday (12/27); @ Orlando, Thursday (12/29); @ Atlanta, Friday (12/30)

The Nets are holding on for dear life, desperately trying to pry Dwight from Orlando's clutches. They did manage to stage another coup by stealing swingman Shawne Williams from the Knicks. Sadly, Kim K broke up with Kris Humphries, so Net fans should be prepared for a dismal season from him. Blah, blah, blah. Basically if the Nets don't land Howard, they are fucked and D-Will will skip town before they move to the planet of Brooklyn. Marshon Brooks can ball, though! —Angel Diaz