Donald Trump Signs Republican Loyalty Pledge, Ruling Out Third-Party Run

Donald Trump is now a full-blown Republican contender, meaning the GOP is entering a grave depression.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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After meeting with Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus at Trump Tower in Manhattan on Thursday, Donald Trump signed a Republican loyalty pledge and reduced his chances of eventually identifying as a third-party candidate to absolute zero. "I will be totally pledging my allegiance to the Republican and the conservative principles for which it stands," Trump said during the meeting. "We will go out and we will fight hard and we will win." Fearing Trump was getting all the troll shine, fellow Republican John Ellis Bush trolled it up in response to Trump sharing a photo of the loyalty pledge:

Trump's advisers reportedly encouraged Trump to sign the pledge to ensure eventual ballot placement in the race ahead, according to Time. The former reality TV star has previously expressed a general disinterest in such loyalty, often even offering vague hints at a possible third-party transformation. Coupled with the recent news that more than half of all Republican voters still believe that President Barack Obama is a Muslim, a fear-born fabrication that sadly highlights the GOP's incessant demonization of any religion not considered conservative-friendly, Trump might very well continue to grow stronger and stronger by absorbing the entire planet into his black hole of preposterousness.

The world is ending.

Everything is meaningless.


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