Jerry Seinfeld isn't having any of this "NYC is dead" bullshit.
In an op-ed published in the New York Times on Monday, the comedian—whose catalog of hits needs no introduction—took impassioned issue with James Altucher's recent piece titled "NYC Is Dead Forever. Here's Why." The opening moments of Seinfeld's op-ed carefully mirror Altucher's, with Seinfeld flipping it to become a message in support of an NYC that will rebuild and continue to thrive after the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic.
"The last thing we need in the thick of so many challenges is some putz on LinkedIn wailing and whimpering, 'Everyone's gone! I want 2019 back!'" Seinfeld said. "Oh, shut up. Imagine being in a real war with this guy by your side?"
From there, Seinfeld criticized the idea of vacating a city that’s been through previous tragedies and come out strong on the other side.
"He says Everyone's gone for good. How the hell do you know that? You moved to Miami," he said. "Yes, I also have a place out on Long Island. But I will never abandon New York City. Ever. And I have been onstage at your comedy club Stand Up N.Y. quite a few times. It could use a little sprucing up, if you don't mind my saying. I wouldn't worry about it. You can do it from Miami."
The comedian also took issue with the theory that a greater reliance on work-from-home methods of income will harm the city, noting that people still choose to work and reside in a place like Silicon Valley, for example, without such in-person interactivity technically being required to get the job done.
"You found a place in Florida? Fine. We know the sharp focus and restless, resilient creative spirit that Florida is all about. You think Rome is going away too? London? Tokyo? The East Village?" Seinfeld added while looking ahead to an NYC that will have changed and re-formed after coronavirus, because its "greatness is rare." And for anyone else putting forth the prediction that NYC will "not bounce back" from this tragedy, Seinfeld has a message.
"You will not bounce back. … This stupid virus will give up eventually. The same way you have," he said, signing off with a promise to eventually see his fans soon "at the club" because NYC "will sure as hell be back."
While catching Seinfeld at a club near you isn't yet a possibility, fans can take solace in knowing that the comedian is dropping a new book this fall. Is This Anything? will be out Oct. 6 and is billed as "the most complete compilation" of how Seinfeld "survived in the world of stand-up comedy" for decades.