As the raging, uncontrollable Republican fire (burn!) that is Donald Trump continues to wage war on your patience, those on the sidelines of the battle continue to offer their volunteer services as political firemen. The latest attempt at heroic intervention is noted BBC anchor Selina Scott, recently revealing some predictably less-than-flattering information on Trump's failed attempt at swooning the late Princess Diana.
"Trump clearly saw Diana as the ultimate trophy wife," Scott writes in the News Review. "He bombarded Diana at Kensington Palace with massive bouquets of flowers, each worth hundreds of pounds. As the roses and orchids piled up at her apartment she became increasingly concerned about what she should do. It had begun to feel as if Trump was stalking her." Scott adds that Diana expressed her concerns over Trump's advances during a private dinner, revealing that the ill-haired Republican hopeful gave her "the creeps."
As noted by others, Trump does mention Diana in his wonderfully awful 1997 attempt at writing entitled Trump: The Art of the Comeback. "I have only one regret in the women department," Trump wrote, presumably while staring into a nearby mirror with false confidence, "that I never had the opportunity to court Lady Diana Spencer." However, if "courting" is just another word for forcefully assertive dating tactics (it most certainly is), then you might want to amend that surely singular (ha.) inaccuracy in The Art of the Comeback, as you most certainly "courted."
Of course, Trump's supporters won't notice any of this, as they're far too busy hitting a dictionary:
And the fire rages on.