Album: Trey Day

Trey Songz, channeling the kind of similes R. Kelly chuckles over before going to bed, wrote a song called "Grub On," in which he literally sings, "Will you be my IHOP, baby?" Then, "The food in here is crazy."

What food? What food have you found between your girl's labia, and why is it crazy? Why is it there at all? What the fuck is happening in your life right now? Ross Scarano