How to Know When Your Terrible Style Needs an Update

It's time.

May 22, 2013

Image via Complex Original

Individual style is a notion we praise time and again, but if it's left untouched for a while, it's something that can rust into ruin. This is something that happens slowly, and without you noticing. After years of rocking the same look and the same clothes, you can easily be blind to the rut that you and your steez have fallen into.

Don't get us wrong—sticking to your guns is admirable, and shopping all the time for the newest trends can easily spin out of control. But with that being said, stagnancy can be just as detrimental to your sense of style as jumping on every micro-trend that pops up on Tumblr. Whether your look screams "Y2K Scare," or your gear has become a running gag amongst your friends, here's How to Know When Your Terrible Style Needs an Update.

Your friends jump out of the frame when people try to take your photo.

Your friends will always be there for you, except when it comes to documentation that they were actually there with you. If your homies are ducking out the way as soon as someone raises their camera, it's because they don't want to be seen with a lame. Ethically, it's better to get new friends, but it's probably easier to stock a new wardrobe.

You're invited to the Gathering of the Juggalos as a fashion #influencer.

Everybody these days fancies themselves an influencer, even though that label only applies to a select few. But the only thing worse than being a struggle influencer is having your words and thoughts followed by people who worship Faygo. If you're preaching to a crowd you would otherwise have nothing to do with, switch your shit up.

You've been made fun of on Complex several times.

It's no secret—if you deserve to be shat on, we'll shit on you. You may have initially thought that getting streetstyled or modeling in your friend's lookbook was the best thing that ever happened to you. Actually, this means your image is now online forever, and shots can and will be fired if it's a wack look. Sorry, not sorry.

Your taxi driver automatically assumes you're heading to WrestleMania.

Not to make sweeping generalizations about wrestling fans, but if people assume you're headed to the nearest WWE extravaganza, it's high-time you go shopping. There's nothing wrong with enjoying low-brow stuff, but this is a pretty Jabroni-filled group to be automatically associated with.

Your unstylish dad openly mocks your style.

If the dude who literally sonned you is now figuratively sonning your style, it's time to update your whole shit. Fathers should support and advise, but if your steez is beyond repair and can only be laughed at, then your dad can't be faulted for not holding back any punches. Also, with the ubiquity of social media, chances are his mockery could go viral, in which case you're really fucked.

Your one-night stands never steal your shirts.

It's a time honored tradition and an unwritten rule—a girl who is kind enough to put up with your lackluster performance, disgusting home, and general odor during a one night stand has her pick of your shirts. But if she gives a grossed-out look for every option you present, your wardrobe needs refreshing. If not for you, at least do it for her.

Your crew has started calling you the "Joey Fatone" of the group.

Or maybe they call you the "Chris Kirkpatrick." Either way, you could be the most interesting guy in the crew but no one cares because you look like a dick. Fellow boyband member JT was able to undergo a miraculous metamorphosis; that means you should be able to, also.

People try to recruit you to be in their Nickelback cover band.

If random, terribly-dressed strangers stop you on the street and tell you that you have "the Chad look" they need to complete their Nickelback tribute band, run home and start clicking away for some new gear. Once your style has reached appropriate levels of freshness, return to that stranger and steal his instruments so that the band never comes to fruition.

People think you were cryogenically frozen in 2000 and just thawed out yesterday.

If scientists assume that you were frozen in time for 13 years based on your appearance and are banging on your door asking how you were able to do it and demanding you submit your body to science, then it's time for an update. And, if for nothing else, no one wants to be compared to Brendan Fraser in Encino Man.