LeChoke: LeBron James' 10 Biggest Fails

Image via Complex Original

DATE: 2006 - present
COMPLEX SAYS: As Bron Bron's career has taken off, his hairline has been on the run. He's rocked the headband since his St. Vincent – St. Mary's days, but over the last few seasons it's been positioned to ridiculous angles to cover up his receding hairline. Not a good look. The future isn't looking too bright either.

DATE: March 2008
COMPLEX SAYS: Becoming the first black male to be featured on the cover of Vogue, alongside the ridiculously hot Gisele Bundchen? Dope. Being depicted as the King Kong and playing into the savage black athlete's "thirst for white girls" stereotype? Not so much. Fat Albert would have been a good fit for this role, though. 

DATE: 5/30/2009
COMPLEX SAYS: After being eliminated in the Eastern Conference Finals by the Orlando Magic, LeBron James quickly dipped out before shaking the hand of his friend Dwight Howard, or any of the Orlando Magic players. He also left the arena without doing any interviews. James gave this half-ass explanation the next day. Damn, we haven't seen someone exit a court that quickly since Jimmy and Cam fled the Rucker.

DATE: 7/8/2009
COMPLEX SAYS: After a summer mini-camp held by LeBron James and Nike, word began spreading that a collegiate player had posterized The King, but Nike had confiscated the tape in an effort to uphold their no taping policy (right, FOH). Days later, Xavier's Jordan Crawford was revealed as the dunker and the tape leaked. The footage revealed this grainy clip with a terrible angle and no real facial. Yup, it pretty much had all the disappointing qualities of your average celebrity sex tape. Pause.

DATE: 5/11/2010
COMPLEX SAYS: Just about a year before his disappearing act in this year's NBA Finals, Bron Bron gave us a glimpse of things to come with his dismal performance in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals vs. the Boston Celtics. The two-time reigning MVP went 3-14 from the field, scoring 15 points in one of the biggest NBA playoff fails of all time. Many went as far as accusing the King of quitting on his team knowing that free agency was on the horizon. Do any of his phrases in this postgame press conference sound familiar? Soundtrack, please!

DATE: 5/14/2010
COMPLEX SAYS: We've already told you that Delonte West is a pretty crazy dude. But is he wild enough to sleep with his teammate's mom? We'll never know for sure but according to the rumors and this interview with former NBA player, Calvin Murphy, it supposedly went down and was the reason for LeBron James' poor playoff performance. This year allegations were made that Rashard Lewis smashed LeBron's long-time girlfriend and mother of his children, Savannah Brinson. So, once the playoffs come around a couple things are likely to happen: Bron Bron will melt down in clutch situations and some player will be accused of smashing a female he's close to. Yikes.

DATE: 7/9/2010

COMPLEX SAYS: First there was The Decision debacle where he publicly shit on his former team, owner, and fans, then came the welcoming party. In an event that rivaled Bad Boy concerts during Puff's shiny suit era, the Big Three officially made themselves one of the most hated teams in NBA history. James also uttered this infamous line about how many championships Miami could expect and how "easy" it would be once the games started. Well, dude was kind of right, he never said: "Not zero."

DATE: 8/17/2010
COMPLEX SAYS: Skinny jeans vs. loose fit denim is really just a matter of preference. But here's something all of us can agree on: We never want to see a 6-foot-8, 250-plus pound NBA player squeeze into a white pair for any reason whatsoever. We know dude went to South Beach to join the Heat, but this GQ photo shoot had us wondering if he switched more than one team that summer. Months later, Chris Bosh would take the team's pause-worthiness to a whole new level. Calm down Mamba fans, your boy has been caught looking wild suspect, too.

DATE: 6/10/2011
COMPLEX SAYS: Referring to one's self in third person and by ridiculous monikers is something that's been a part of sports since big contracts and endorsements came into play. However, referring to yourself like that when talking with fellow players is still viewed as a douchebag move. Supposedly this is how LeBron began a text to one anonymous NBA player while attempting to convince him to come to Miami: "Yo, this is King James." Based on homie's collapse in the Finals we think a, "Yo, this is Jester James" text greeting may be more fitting this offseason.

DATE: 6/12/2011
COMPLEX SAYS: On the biggest stage of his career, LeBron James became a virtual non-factor, averaging three points per fourth quarter and going from a nearly 27 points per game average in the regular season to just 17.8 in the Finals (the largest drop-off in NBA history). Then, instead of appearing humbled, he took this last shot at critics and later tweeted that it was God's plan, not his piss-poor performance, that cost the Heat the title. All stats aside, we're just puzzled on how dude got through high school if he never showed up for the Finals? OK, OK, we're done...until next year's playoffs.