Where are They Now? Your Favorite Basketball Players of the 2000s

When an athlete retires from the NBA, their lives typically go one of three directions. Some channel their wealth and personal prestige towards social change and charitable causes. Others come totally undone, develop a lean habit, and spend their golden years ducking child support. Finally, there are a few who marry has-been video vixens and launch short-lived reality shows on VH1.

So what's your favorite baller up to? We have the answers. Check out, Where are They Now? Your Favorite Basketball Players of the 2000s.

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Accomplishments: 15x All-Star, MVP (2000), 4x NBA Champion
Team(s): Magic, Lakers, Heat, Suns, Cavs, Celtics
Currently: TNT analyst

Since winning his fourth NBA title in 2006, Shaq's dabbled in everything from law enforcement to professional wrestling and received a doctoral degree in education from Barry University. O'Neal's industriousness doesn't surprise us at all. Dude tweets every 30 seconds and can't go six months without launching an ill-fated reality show. He's like Khloe Kardashian, but with a weaker turnaround jumper.

Today, Shaq's an analyst on TNT's Emmy Award-winning "Inside the NBA" broadcast team, he's reportedly squashed his beef with Kobe Bryant, and he's spearheading a campaign to help people with diabetes. Alas, a post-retirement career the NBA can be proud of.

Accomplishments: 3x All-Star, Rookie of the Year (2000)
Team(s): Rockets, Magic, Knicks
Currently: Swollen

Since leaving the NBA in 2008, Stevie Franchise started a hip-hop label, a clothing brand, and apparently developed some sort of reverse Bejamin Button disease. Francis, who was cut from the Beijing Ducks in 2010 after flipping off a ref, showed up to All-Star Weekend looking like Tanning Mom. If his swollen eyes and bloated face are any indication, Francis has had a tough time adjusting to life without basketball.

Accomplishments: 8x All-Star
Team(s): Rockets
Currently: Conservation activist

Last weekend, Yao Ming returned to Houston for All-Star Weekend. Besides becoming the tallest Slam Dunk Contest judge in history, Ming discussed his life as a wine maker and his efforts to support animal conservation in Africa. The eight time all-star has become an outspoken opponent of elephant and rhino poaching that, because of Asia's demand for ivory, has crippled African wildlife.

While most retired athletes golf and drink their way to morbid obesity, Ming's currently working on a documentary about the Northern White Rhinoceros and remains active in Shanghai politics as the youngest member of the Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference. Salute.

Accomplishments: 2x All-Star
Team(s): Timberwolves, Nets, Suns, Knicks, Celtics
Currently: Playing for the Beijing Ducks of the Chinese Basketball Association

Believe it or not, Stephon Marbury still plays professional basketball. And his numbers are pretty good, too. Last year, he led the Beijing Ducks to to their first league title and this year he's averaging nearly 30 PPG and five assists. The Knicks castaway is beloved in China and credits the culture for turning his life around. Happy ending, right? Meh.

Back in 2006, Marbury offered to pay his former chef $900K to keep their affair a secret, but stopped making payments after shelling out $600K. This month, an arbitrator ordered Marbury to pay the $330K balance, which means that he'll drop close to $1M worth of hush money to cover up a story that everyone knows. He may be a world away, but he can't escape his crazy past.

Accomplishments: 6x All-Star
Team(s): Sonics, Cavs, Blazers, Magic
Currently: Restaurant owner

After a dominating tenure in Seattle, Shawn Kemp had a heartbreakingly pathetic twilight of his career. Like Axl Rose with a 40-inch vertical, Kemp battled weight issues, was twice arrested for drug possession, and became crippled financially through his fathering of (at least) seven children by six different women.

But, lately at least, Kemp's life has taken on a more fulfilling purpose than just being a Pros vs. Joes stand in. He owns a modestly successful restaurant in Seattle. He's become the face of a Sonics return to The Emerald City. And his son, Washington University forward Shawn Kemp Jr., is one of the Pac-12's best off-the-bench talents.

Accomplishments: Blocks leader (1997)
Team(s): 76ers, Nets, Mavericks
Currently: An aspiring politician, school administrator

Shawn Bradley's probably appeared on more posters than Michael Jordan, but for all the wrong reasons. Tired of swallowing violently dunked basketballs in the NBA, the Enormous Mormon made the natural progression to breaking up cafeteria fights at a school for at-risk youth. Bradley's taken on an administrative role at West Ridge Academy, a Utah school for troubled kids. We're not sure how many lives he's turned around, but if our high school dean was eight feet tall and wore a size 29 oxford, we'd have spent a lot less time in detention. No more tardies, big man! We promise.

Accomplishments: 4x All-Star
Team(s): Magic, Suns, Knicks, Heat
Currently: Middle school basketball coach

Plagued by nagging injuries, Penny Hardaway only achieved a fraction of his potential in the league. But even if he maintained his mid-'90s form, his best moves would still be off the court.

Hardaway's returned home to coach and mentor middle school kids that are growing up in the same projects that Penny was raised in. He has donated uniforms, organized meetings with gang members to ensure the safety of his kids, and led the Lester Middle School Lions to a state championship in 2010.

Last October, he joined Peyton Manning in an ownership group that is poised to take control of the Memphis Grizzlies. And earlier this month, he was nearly involved in a gymnasium-wide brawl between middle school kids, coaches, and parents. It's been a busy few years. Oh, and he has pretty famous Nike sneaker.

Accomplishments: 8x All-Star, 4x Defensive Player of the Year, 3x blocks leader
Team(s): Nuggets, Hawks, 76ers, Nets, Knicks, Rockets
Currently: Humanitarian

We appreciate Cam Newton building a jungle gym for the United Way cameras or LeBron James dedicating his next dunk to a kid with cancer or whatever, but few athletes wholeheartedly commit to changing the world like Dikembe Mutumbo. The eight time all-star has spent his retirement improving the quality of life in his native Congo and building hospitals. Seriously. In December 2007, at a cost of nearly $30M, he opened the Biamba Marie Mutombo Hospital which, to date, has treated over 100,000 people.

Accomplishments: 7x All-Star, 2x Scoring Champion
Team(s): Raptors, Magic, Rockets, Knicks, Pistons, Hawks
Currently: Playing for the Qingdao Eagles of the Chinese Basketball Association

China's manipulating our currency and stealing SLAM Magazine's 2003 cover athletes. Do something, President Obama! Between Stephon Marbury and Tracy McGrady's balling in The Middle Kingdom, our nation's lack of has-been slashers is as crippling as the deficit. This isn't the America we know. Averaging 25 PPG and scoring 20+ in his last nine games, the 33-year-old has been one of the Chinese Basketball Association's best players this season.

Accomplishments: All-Star (2004)
Team(s): Nets, Nuggets, Clippers
Currently: Eyeing a comeback

After a 2012 playoff run with the Clippers, Kenyon Martin's been unable to re-up on a job in the NBA. Rumors out of New York have Martin coming to the Knicks and, according to his agent, he's "biting at the bit" to join an NBA team. The Knickerbockers have been playing footsie with the former No. 1 overall pick since, like, Thanksgiving, so we suspect he'll be able to stay up on his daytime TV lineup of Maury and Cheaters. But stay tuned.

Accomplishments: 3x All-Star, NBA Champion (2006)
Team(s): Celtics, Mavericks, Hawks, Timberwolves
Currently: Wishing Range Rovers and gambling debts appreciated like IRA's and bonds

Antoine Walker recently started an athlete management company. While doctors hang medical degrees and champions wear rings, Walker has the dubious honor of blowing $110M in career earnings to bolster credibility. Sadly, he'll probably add half of next year's lottery picks to his list of clients.

Besides bouncing checks and filing for bankruptcy, Walker was cut by the D-League's Idaho Stampede. According to Sports Illustrated, he was without a car, surviving on cold cuts and fast food, and playing in front of crowds as small as 155 when he was shown the door. And you thought you were having a bad day.

Accomplishments: 5x All-Star, Rookie of the Year (1994), All-NBA (2001)
Team(s): Warriors, Wizards, Kings, 76ers, Pistons
Currently: TNT analyst

After persistent knee problems ended his career in 2008, Webber joined the broadcast crew at TNT. Mark Cuban made headlines earlier this month by tweeting that Webber is a "horrible analyst" and "does no homework before the game." We don't totally disagree but, by the standards of this list, C-Webb is doing pretty well for himself.

Accomplishments: 4x All-Star
Team(s): Warriors, Knicks, Timberwolves
Currently: Struggling

Latrell Sprewell's career came to an end in 2005, when he was so insulted by a three-year, $21M contract offer that he walked away from the game entirely. Less than three years after his prideful stand, he defaulted on two home loans and had his 70-foot yacht repossessed by Federal Marshals. Suddenly, seven-million dollars to work a six month year doesn't seem so disrespectful.

Sprewell currently rents a modest home in Milwaukee, occasionally pissing off his neighbors with loud music, and getting arrested. And, if you thought this is where the nightmare ends, he reportedly owes Wisconsin $3,000,000 in back taxes. SMH. This can't be life.

Accomplishments: 3x NBA Champion
Team(s): Rockets, Suns, Mavericks, Nets, Bucks, Timberwolves, Clippers, Celtics
Currently: Assistant coach, Washington Wizards

Since there's no way you watch Wizards basketball, we're obliged to inform you that Sam Cassell is one of the team's assistant coaches. He seems to have worked wonders with Bradley Beal, who's been stellar in his rookie campaign, and that John Wall guy ain't bad, either. Before the hiring of Randy Wittman, the mood in Washington was that Cassell was going to land the gig. With the Wizard 15-37 so far this season, his second chance may be coming soon.

Career Accomplishments: 11x All-Star, MVP (2001), Rookie of the Year (1997)
Team(s): 76ers, Nuggets, Pistons, Grizzlies
Currently: Going through some ish

If only custody battles, alcohol dependency, and home foreclosures could be handled with an aggressive crossover; then Allen Iverson wouldn't have such a profoundly difficult time adjusting to life without basketball. An Atlanta judge, who is presiding over his ongoing divorce, recently accosted the 2001 MVP writing, "...[Iverson] has little interest in learning to manage [his] children and has actually, at times, been a hindrance to their spiritual and emotional growth..." Damn.

Not to be outdone by his horrible parenting, A.I.'s also the world's worst accountant. While claiming $62,500 in monthly earnings, Iverson says he spends close to $360,000. Apparently two years at Georgetown isn't enough to understand the impact of a $300,000 monthly burn rate. After two years of playing basketball in Turkey and a failed NBA comeback, Iverson's five-year plan probably involves a strip club brawl with Dez Bryant and a runner-up finish on Dancing with the Stars. Unfortunately.