"Marshawn Lynch basically the human version of the one hundred emoji" - @DesusNice
Quite possibly the most accurate tweet of 2014. Marshawn Lynch—a man getting vilified by stale and salty sports writers all across America for refusing to answer questions in press conferences—doesn't need your acceptance. He doesn't care if you like him or not. He doesn't care if the media crucifies him for keeping his mouth shut. He doesn't care if Stephen A. Smith—who not long ago told women not to provoke their own domestic abuse— has a meltdown and calls his behavior "disgraceful and embarrassing." Beastmode doesn't care about any of that shit. He's only focused on playing great football, taking care of his family, and maybe making sure the mid keeps selling.
His attitude is the definition of keeping it 100. Marshawn has always kept it realer than most, and it's the exact reason why we celebrate his existence. In a world full of fakes, Marshawn Lynch is the hero we all need. Whether it's showing up to the ESPYs wearing a t-shirt and a beanie or grabbing his nuts while falling into the endzone, these are Marshawn Lynch's Realest Moments, Rated in 100 Emojis.
*ratings vary from one to six 100 emojis*
Marshawn will run you over and then tell you to put bofa deez nuts in yo' mouf.
I'm Bout that Action, Boss
Marshawn doesn't do interviews? Stop asking him the same goddamn questions over and over again, you khaki-wearing sports writers. He only answers pimps in tailored suits. Primetime and Beastmode is a recipe for success.
Ride or Die
He played with two sprained ankles and scored a touchdown in OT to beat Washington, 31-24. And to celebrate he took a little joy ride around the field. His driving skills, like his media skills, are exceptional.
We're Thankful for Marshawn
Look at this beautiful man. He found the cheat code. He's rockin' the gold bubble vest as “CoCo” plays in the background. It don't get more realer than that. Salute him when you see him.
Peeped how he got all serious when he said “Beast Mode?” This shit ain't a game. He seems pretty friendly here.
Pay Him in Skittles and He Will Talk
It's easy to get comfortable when you're getting paid with a lifetime supply of Skittles. Life hack: Ask him creative questions, and he'll answer them. Give Stephen A. and Ed Sherman a pack of Tropical Skittles, so they can be quiet.
The Mid Is Always Sellin'
True Religion winter cap 'cause it's a cold world and the mid be sellin'.
Real Recognize Real
This guy blew the President off because the country has more things to worry about than the Leader of the Free World meeting with athletes over a meaningless game. Yet, Obama gave him a shout out because Obama's realer than most. Again, salute Marshawn when you see him.
We Goin' Sizzla
Sizzler is fine dining in the hood, baby. Take your crew to Sizzler, take wifey to Red Lobster.
“It's Just a Lifestyle, Bruh”
He clap emoji Does clap emoji Not clap emoji Want clap emoji To clap emoji Talk clap emoji To clap emoji Corny clap emoji People clap emoji Ask clap emoji Better clap emoji Questions clap emoji
Let my guy Hamden do every Marshawn interview like Brian Windhorst does every LeBron interview.
No Love For Coach, Either
He knows what he's doing out there, boss.
“Nah, chiil, bruh. Handshakes only. I ain't wit dat extra shit.”
Thanks for Asking
He's so sweet and polite.
Where does he pull those ropes out from? In the trunk? Doesn't matter. This might be his realest move, ever.
It Is that Serious?
Fuck outta here, TMZ!
“This What Y'all Wanna Wit Y'all Time?”
You guys love wasting time and getting made fun of on Twitter.
Grill Shopping With Marshawn
This should be a show on the Home Shopping Network. He'll talk to you if you treat him like a human being instead of some athlete here for your entertainment.
Y'all want him to speak, right? They weren't ready for the shades, Africa medallions, and the shouting out of the real Africans out there. Play this at his Hall of Fame induction ceremony.