10 Questions to Never Ask a Sneakerhead

If you're asking this question, you're clearly one of these types of people. The answer for any real sneakerhead will always be "no." Sneakerheads will find any excuse to buy another pair, until there is no more room left in their house/apartment/van down by the river. Then they'll get a bigger place to store their kicks. Sounds like a serious problem, doesn't it?

Really, bro? Let's think about this. Remember when you were a kid and had to share damn near everything with your brothers and sisters? Remember how the first time you were able to get something nice of your own, you wanted it for yourself? Nobody wants to share sweaty insoles with you, especially if they don't share your last name. You can always live to stunt another day (after you get a job, make some money, pay your child support and maybe move out of your mom's place).

It's one thing if you're making an offer on eBay or to someone that asks for them. It's another to hit someone up that has "firm" in the listing of their for sale posts. Respect the seller. If you're just going to lowball, you deserve any hate that comes your way after.

Trying to get those Air Jordan Is early? So is everyone else that doesn't have '01s on ice. If your favorite sneaker blogger doesn't shoutout their connect when they get them early, don't be asking. If they wanted you to know, they'd put it on Instagram.

Unless you're at a strip club, just stop.

Now that trading sneakers has become a regular thing on these crazy Internets, it's not uncommon to be sending a pair of kicks half way around the globe in exchange for a pair of "VVVNDS" grails. If you're doing that, don't ask for someone to ship first. That is the first step in never landing those must-have kicks. It makes you seem shady, which is no good for business.

If you're asking someone to buy the shoes off of their feet, you're the definition of thirst. Chill bruh. Nobody wants to sell you the kicks on their feet, even if you got your mommy ready to shell out the big bucks.

Yo, if you have to ask, you probably shouldn't be having the conversation. We're going to give you a tip, OG, means ORIGINAL – Original Gangster for those of you too young to remember Ice T's rap career. If you bought a pair of Js that say Retro on the box, they aren't OG. So when you ask this, don't be surprised to have someone smack you all the way back into the past. Now that's retro.

Unless you're blood related, or regularly break bread with someone, don't ever ask a sneakerhead to go cop something for you. Nobody wants to sacrifice their time and energy standing in line for someone else. Unless of course they can Instagram and Tweet pics as they stand out in the cold. In that case, when you ask, send them these tips. Either way, you deserve the stone face for even thinking about asking.

You can't be serious. This shit isn't a game. Real 'heads put in serious work to get their hands on those elusive LeBron and Oregon PEs. And when we say "work," we mean money, greens, dividends. Or they just nag the fuck out of people on Twitter through DM. But it's all gravy, somebody has to pay the cost to be the boss, right?