Trying to relive the loss of innocence you experienced as a childhood when you discovered those steamy Cinemax scenes or your dad's nudie mags? Want to stop watching porn, but just can't manage to quit cold turkey? Are you extremely lonely, but with strong morals to adhere to? Softcore entertainment may just be the raunchy and erotic ticket for you.
In the storied history of "steamy" cinematic romance sex scenes, there's forever been one rule: bring the nipples out. Now, thanks to the magic of the Internet, Netflix has brought the majesty of taped dongs and always arching lady-backs right to your TV, or iPhone—and they are raunchy.
These are The Most Ludicrous Softcore Movies that's the closest to porn on Netflix you'll find right now.
If you're feeling something a little more highbrow (or just not softcore), check out our lists of the best comedies, horror films, documentaries, romantic flicks, TV shows, and just overall best movies streaming on Netflix right now.
Rather than be about it, Dafoe’s character babbles on and on about his past sexual exploits, and when it finally comes time for he and Olin to get busy, director Anna Maria Tato spends more time adjusting the art-deco lighting than capturing anything remotely sensual on camera. Thus, The Night and the Moment is mostly like listening to Downton Abbey’s Hugh Bonneville have phone sex.
The Sex Thief (1974)
Director: Martin Campbell
Stars: Jennifer Westbrook, David Warbeck, Henry Rayner
What five minutes were like: This guy robs single women (how does he always know?) who then become mysteriously attracted to his bland looks. They have sex and then the women seem to just forgive him (win some/lose some), because he's British in the '70s and anything went back then, especially the clap.
Sacred Flesh (2000)
Director: Nigel Wingrove
Stars: Sally Tremaine, Moyna Cope, Simon Hill
What five minutes were like: Good lord, this movie about a convent become suddenly sexualized is so horribly bad, it'll make you feel guilty, like after blacking out you've woke to find yourself covered in blood and feces. Truly, you'll be reaching for the closest Disney movie. Watch Sacred Flesh and you'll start donating to charity, calling your grandma just to talk. You'll want to touch yourself, but only in the form of a self-hug, to protect you from the night terrors brought on by this dreck.
My Normal (2009)
Director: Irving Schwartz
Stars: Nicole LaLiberte, Ty Jones, Dawn Noel Pignuola
What five minutes were like: The dialogue in this movie might've been improvised, or at least written on set. The main character, a lesbian dominatrix, just said that her hookup probably wouldn't mind that she's a "dom" because "she seemed mad chill." Which will make you feel about 30 years older on principle, and slightly misanthropic.
Psychopathia Sexualis (2006),
Director: Bret Wood
Stars: Kristi Casey, David Weber, Zoë Cooper
What five minutes were like: Filmed like a weirdly sexual episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy, this very low-budget high-concept nightmare is riddled with echoing sound, cheap sets, and iMovie transitions. To say that it's missing nudity would be to imply that there was anyone attractive in it. The soundtrack is pretty rockin', though.
What five minutes were like: This movie will make you uncomfortable from the start. Two best friends grow up together, raise their sons together, and once they’re old enough, have sex with each other’s sons. This older woman’s fantasy of sleeping with a hot young surfer might be okay if they didn’t act like a family, but they do, and it’s just too incestual and creepy to be sexy.