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For almost five years, celebrities have been allowed to go about their daily lives without interruption, flaunting their physical perfection and monetary superiority, but not anymore. MTV's Punk'd returned last week, and with it, a slew of celebrity hosts and the smug sense of schadenfreude-inspired satisfaction derived from seeing someone who has everything suffer through an elaborate act of public ridicule.
We didn't miss Ashton Kutcher parading around with his trucker hats and dumb grin, but we've longed to once again witness the humiliation of other famous people. Now that Punk'd is back and we've seen Taylor Swift, Rob Dyrdek, Sean Kingston, and Miley Cyrus fall under the axe of shame, we're hungry for more.
There are celebrities who might go down quietly, with class in tact—keep those. We want crazy, unpredictable, and inappropriate reactions that will haunt stars (and entertain us) for years to come, and this is who we know we can get it from: 20 Celebrities Who Need To Get Punk'd.
Written by Shanté Cosme (@ShanteCosme)
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20. Mike Tyson
Prank a man who chomps on earlobes like they're Fruit Roll-Ups, whose sanity is questionable at best, and what do you get? Unmatched entertainment! Also, probably a concussion. His celebrity host better be brolic enough to handle Mike Tyson's punch-out!!
19. Madonna
She speaks in a British accent and she's not a Brit, she's the reigning (albeit decaying) queen of pop, and a long-established diva who takes no shit from anybody. Did you see her blow a fit when a fan presented her with hydrangeas, a flower she "loathes"? It was the best celeb-to-civilian act of cruelty ever captured on camera, and we want more!
MTV, send another well-meaning fan into Madonna's clutches with a token of affection so we can watch our favorite cougar pounce!
18. Kanye West
Yes, Yeezy got punk'd back in the day on the set of "Jesus Walks," but that was when he retained some small sense of humility. Now that Kanye's ego has landed, we need to prey on it, and put it under our thumb. This is a man who shamelessly stole a 19-year-old girl's spotlight—and that was great and all, very fun to watch—but we want more blissfully unaware cockiness. We won't be satisfied until we see Kanye scream on an 80-year-old crippled woman.
17. Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth is almost too easy to punk. Just have the UPS guy bring her the wrong type of imported bath salts ("Ground seal whiskers? I wanted the type with fresh baby tears, you buffoon!") or mess up her smoothie order ("American wheatgrass? I only drink wheatgrass from the Swiss Alps...YOU DUMB FUCK!") and watch her fly into a irrevocable rage.
Seriously, we're getting excited just thinking about it.
16. Aziz Ansari
Have you seen Aziz on Parks and Recreation, or better yet, during his stand-up act? He's like a little sprite, bouncing around like he's ingested a case of Red Bull, and an entertaining one at that.
Still, we'd love to see his energetic ass get punk'd. Is he really this unnaturally happy at all times? A quality punking will figure it out.
15. Angelina Jolie
Not only is Angelina impossibly attractive (despite that scrawny leg she mistakenly flaunted) she's also married to some with equally flawless aesthetics. She acts and in her free time she's off being a humanitarian. It's too much for us to take.
Keep your Saint Jolie, we want brother-licking, blood-wearing, freak-a-leek Angelina back. Tempt a little rage out of her, MTV, and confirm the fact that naughty Angie lives on, somehow, somewhere inside this fallen devil.
14. Gary Busey
Not to brag, but this is so genius we're incredulous it hasn't already been done! Gary Busey is precariously teetering on the brink of insanity, and all it would take is a small dose of Punk'd to take him over the edge. The only downside? The chances of him snapping and killing someone on camera are so high, we may never get to see the episode air.
13. Nicki Minaj
The joy of punking Nicki is like a box of chocolates—you never know what you're gonna get. Will it be Nicki, the neon-drenched, over-animated Barbie, or Roman Zolanski, her eccentric, possibly evil alter-ego? Clearly, we're hoping to confront the latter.
12. Jon Hamm
There is a reason that there is a blog entitled "Emotions With Jon Hamm." The normally stoic actor who plays amazingly emotionless Don Draper on Mad Men, is rarely seen smiling (on and off set).
But Hamm's days of nonchalance are over. He can no longer be allowed to parade around as though he's cooler than us (even though he is). We want to see Hamm get Punk'd and watch something he loves and holds close to his heart (we're guessing taxidermied eagles, scotch aged since 1922, or the first-ever Cuban cigar) explode, extravagantly. Let's see Mister Apathetic keep his shit together then!
11. Megan Fox
We can't get a handle on this foul-mouthed starlet. She's outspoken, unpredictable, complex—clearly a prime candidate for a punking. Is she a demure ditz parading as a saucy-mouthed rebel? Piss her off on camera, and it will be an enigma no more!
10. Jeremy Piven
Entourage is over but the mystery still remains—is Jeremy Piven as big of a d-bag as Ari Gold? MTV should conduct an experiment on Punk'd involving a woman— could be his maid or cocktail waitress, he really isn't that discerning—and watch his sense of ass-entitlement come out to play.
9. Katherine Heigl
Most celebrities suffer at the hands of a cruel punking, but for Heigl, it could be a career-boosting move. It's no secret that Heigl has acquired a bad rep for being hard to work with, and a generally unlikeable, frigid human. That may or may not be true, we haven't met the girl.
But a good old fashioned punking would dispel the rumors once and for all. If she acts like a normal person, it could be the greatest PR move of the decade! If she acts like a wench, her career continues on as is and she's still more famous and paid than haters could ever dream to be.
8. Kristin Stewart
Generally, we enjoy watching celebrities get punk'd because we get a rare, unobstructed glimpse into their true selves. But in Kstew's case, we just want to see a smile break that expressionless facade to prove once and for all that she's not a robot. Seriously, it's a concern of ours.
7. Ashton Kutcher
Cut us some slack. We know it's obvious, but it needs to be done. Kutcher will definitely expect to be punk'd. Our solution? Rather than hiring actors, set someone in his inner circle up with a hidden camera, and have them reveal some game-changing secret that will allow us to watch Ashton emotionally unravel before our eyes. After his many years of unprovoked punking, a soul-crushing prank isn't just expected, it's karma, right?
6. Ryan Gosling
Ryan Gosling is notoriously kind to lowly civilians like you and me. He broke up a street fight between two men, saved a woman from a death by speeding cab just yesterday, and is just out there, generally making you look like an inferior man. It's time we put a chink in baby goose's armor.
MTV, help Gosling take a break from playing Superman and test his altruism. We will not be satisfied until he is witnessed acting like a douchey, entitled celebrity. Maybe then women will stop sweating him.
5. Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell is a funny guy. We admit it, we screamed like a girl when we learned there's an Anchorman sequel on the way. But we've always wondered—is he a legit, cool guy, or a complete a-hole, like people say? We wouldn't hold it against him if he was, we just need to know, and a quality punking could finally reveal the man behind the funnyman.
4. Christian Bale
Ever since Christian Bale lost his shit on the crew of Terminator Salvation, we've been fantasizing about when one of his expletive-laced rants will grace our ears again. The prank would be simple—a wide-eyed intern could walk on set while Christian is filming a scene for one of his movies and hand him his coffee, oblivious to interrupting the scene.
Christian would then berate her until she cries (which she would, and it she wouldn't even be acting), at which point the celebrity host would intervene, and Bale would erupt into rage. We wouldn't be surprised if, after we'd laughed at the bit on TV, he then burst through our door to tear into us too.
3. Drake
After all those seasons of Punk'd, the prank we're most indebted to Ashton for is the one he pulled on Justin Timberlake. After convincing J.T. his house was being repossessed, the singer-actor broke down in tears. It was a truly glorious moment in Punk'd history.
If the show wants to return to its former glory, we need to witness an emotional breakdown, and who's more likely to shed a salty tear than Mr. Sensitivity himself, Drake? #drakecrieswhen...he gets punk'd. We'd wager our Grandma's soul on it.
2. Jennifer Lopez
Is she Jenny from the Block or the diva rumored to fly into fury if her dressing room isn't adorned with white lilies? Only being punk'd will settle it for sure. If she's revealed to be true to her Bronx-born roots, we'll even forgive her for duping us with those bogus Fiat commercials.
1. Chris Brown
You can understand why we chose this one, can't you? Aside from the fact that Brown is entirely deserving of being shamed in public, he is also a prime candidate for a candid camera meltdown. The dude's temper is clearly not in check, and a simple, well-tailored prank will allow us to bear witness to a full-fledged breakdown in which he kicks puppies and babies.
