Gallery: The Most Obnoxious Celebrity Birthday Cakes

Birthday cakes are an occupational hazard for celebrities, whose over-sized egos are often revealed by the towering, candy-coated confections. Whether it's 12 tiers studded in diamonds, cakes cloaked in condoms, or Miley Cyrus' larger-than-life penis cake, the ostentatious and often outrageous cakes of the stars speak for themselves. And we're ready to listen. So grab a fork and indulge in our compilation of the most decadent desserts out there: The Most Obnoxious Celebrity Birthday Cakes.

Written by Shanté Cosme (@ShanteCosme)

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No one had the heart to tell Miley Cyrus that she was licking the wrong end of Liam Hemsworth's cake.

See, the previous photo wasn't a fluke! She's been practicing for boyfriend Liam Hemsworth's cake for years.

There's something to be said for subtlety, Nas.

In an effort to kill two birds with one stone, Nikki Hilton celebrated both her newly acquired real estate and her birthday with one cake. Classy.

Show 'em how it's done, Mr. Mars!

Considering your life is a circus, wouldn't you want a cake that's more, um, tranquil, Britney?

Even Lebron James' birthday cake has an ego.

You're going to need more candles if you're wishing to be like Marilyn Monroe. A lot more.

Bitches and buttercream: That's how Chad Ochocinco does it.

The day Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino learned what real pecs feel like.

Nick Cannon's birthday dessert is just like him—an oversized cheesecake.

Here, Paula Deen is clearly wishing she didn't have to share her cake with anyone else.

What, you couldn't afford Beats By Dre, 50? Awkward.

"I always wanted a cake of me dressed as The Lion King!"

President Obama was disappointed with his cake: "I was told there was going to be a seal?"

Whose birthday is it? Frosty? Santa Claus? Oh, it's Young Jeezy? Uh, yeah, we were going to say that next.

Shortly after, the car burst into flames, like Kim's marriage.

Y'all can't deny it, Fabolous' birthday cake is a riot.

Is Diddy about to behead his son on his cake? What kind of sick celebration is this?

Life as a Kardashian is full of tiers.

"Sorry, Wiz Khalifa, but they were all out of pot brownies!"

How cute. Chris Brown is still trying to make sure we know that he's famous.

Snooki's birthday cake came with condoms included, because every bite was infused with a heaping spoonful of STDs. Also, fresh pickle juice.

Imagine if this was the most ass Trey Songz has gotten since he dropped "Bottoms Up."

Snoop wanted to alert the ladies at the party that his shoes are big. Which clearly means he has also has big... Bakery bills.

When your cake looks more expensive than the house it's in, it's never a good look. A cupcake would have done just fine.

Big Meech or Cake Boss? He can't decide.

Girl, you look good, won't you back that buttercream up!

Chad Ochocinco likes the cakes with the red bottoms.

Hip Hop Problems: When your grill clashes with your cake.

Happy 50th birthday, Flavor Flav! Those clocks really are ticking.

Actually, we can't even front. Jack Nicholson's cake is pretty boss.

What are you, 15 years old now, Bow Wow? And it looks you're enjoying that cake a little too much...

Raekwon decided to trade the "ice cream" for cake.

Leave the whole "sexy face" thing to Betty Boop. OK, Jessica?

Kanye got his Nike Air Yeezy's decked out in all-fondant-everything. Of course!

Maybe if you start making real music, T-Pain, you'll get a real ass cake.

Kim's only complaint about her cake? "Needs more me."

Looks like the girl in the corner wants some of Nicki Minaj's "birthday cake," too.

Proof that Trina is no longer a relevant rapper: The ghetto baker they hired couldn't even spell "Lougoutin," not Louboutin.

Sean Kingston makes it clear from the get-go: He is not sharing this cake.

Vashtie couldn't get her hands on a real pair of Air Yeezy kicks, so she settled for the second best thing.

As if we didn't know it already, Lebron James is really letting the whole "KIng James" thing go to his head.

Pamela Anderson's born-day cake filed rape charges against her shortly after the party.

Jeezy traded his hustler's ambition for sugar ambition.

Unlike most celebrities, who get their cakes bestowed upon them by clubs owners and promoters, Heidi Montag actually baked her own cake, and leaked this photo to the Internet as proof that she's still relevant. Thankfully, no one believed her.

Rumor has it that T.I. burst into tears when he saw his luggage-inspired cake. Airports are still a sensitive subject for him.

During Kanye West's 30th birthday bash at Saks 5th Avenue’s Louis Vuitton store, the cake read: "Happy Birthday Kayne." Must have been humbling.

Why waste a perfectly good group of Pussycat Dolls on Perez Hilton?

A birthday cake with a shoe on it? We've never seen that one before!

Paris Hilton has been begging those candles to give her talent for years. Those wishes have yet to come true.

The White House built out of white chocolate? So clever!

Our verdict? Eva Longoria should have went bigger.

A birthday cake delivered by Pamela Anderson, sans clothing—"obnoxious" only because it isn't ours!