Without the Internet, the world wouldn't be able to document the perils of live local news. Local news stations are, at best, only affiliates of major networks like CNN and Fox News. These are teams of the men and women who won't be appearing on national news to talk about today's filibuster, or whatever story happens to be attracting the country's attention. They seldom have the poise of Matt Lauer, or the insight of Charlie Rose. They're often young, prone to moments of extreme candor, and what's worse, they're covering local news.
What makes local news? Sometimes a big story will break in a small North Dakota town, but more often than not, we're talking about the woman who showed the vacuum man her tits. (Good luck unpacking that.)
Local news is the source of all weather man stereotypes. All of your favorite news dick jokes come from the local news. Which is what makes it more exciting than the actual news. It's a little unfair to think of these moments as failures. Because they succeed at making us laugh so damn well.
Here are 50 hilarious local news fails.
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Without the Internet, the world wouldn't be able to document the perils of live local news. Local news stations are, at best, only affiliates of major networks like CNN and Fox News. These are teams of the men and women who won't be appearing on national news to talk about today's filibuster, or whatever story happens to be attracting the country's attention. They seldom have the poise of Matt Lauer, or the insight of Charlie Rose. They're often young, prone to moments of extreme candor, and what's worse, they're covering local news.
What makes local news? Sometimes a big story will break in a small North Dakota town, but more often than not, we're talking about the woman who showed the vacuum man her tits. (Good luck unpacking that.)
Local news is the source of all weather man stereotypes. All of your favorite news dick jokes come from the local news. Which is what makes it more exciting than the actual news. It's a little unfair to think of these moments as failures. Because they succeed at making us laugh so damn well.
Here are 50 hilarious local news fails.
RELATED: The 25 Craziest Things That've Happened On Live Television
RELATED: A Brief History of Accidental Nudity on Live Television
RELATED: The 25 Most Memorable Moments in MTV Spring Break History
RELATED: The 25 Funniest Reactions to "You Are Not The Father," in GIFs
CBS Channel 6 News Anchor: Man Has More P*ssy Than He Can Handle
Where: Albany, New York
When: July 2011
Slow clap for this woman for keeping a straight face.
Fox 8 News Segment "Kickin' it with Kenny" and the Farting Rhino
Where: Cleveland
When: August 2012
Little did Kenny know, that's actually the rhino's review of his "Kickin' It" segments.
KMPH Catches Up With Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker
Where: Fresno, Calif.
When: February 2013
He's one of the heroes, bruh.
Always Hallucinating on WGN 9
Where: Chicago
When: December 2007
If you think he's not planning an acid trip, you're dead wrong.
WJW Fox 8 Cleveland Reenacts a Bear Sighting...Pathetically
Where: Cleveland
When: June 2009
When movie clips from The Edge just won't cut it.
Real Talk in Milwaukee
Where: Milwaukee, Wis.
When: February 2013
After hours in the snow, FOX 6′s Angelica Duria can only keep it real.
WPMI Discovers a Leprechaun
Where: Mobile, Ala.
When: March 2006
If you've never seen the leprechaun say, "I've failed and I'm sorry."
NBC Newscaster Is as Confused About Tornado Watching as You Are
Where: Pike County, Ohio
When: March 2012
Damn humongous newsroom camera rigs, always sneaking up on people.
Struttin' That Ass With WHNT 19
Where: Huntsville, Ala.
When: Unknown
The video that should've spawned a thousand dances.
The Tornado That Ate a Hamburger
Where: Jackson, Mississippi
When: April 2011
PTSD over a burger—life's not fair.
ABC News Affiliate WJXX Learns How Tony Danza Really Feels About Their Interview
Where: Jacksonville, Fla.
When: 1998
What, the star of that cinematic classic The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon has standards, people.
WAFF 48 News Anchor Scrambles for His Mic, Pretends Nothing is Wrong
Where: Huntsville, Ala.
When: February 2012
This guy just wins for keeping it going even though he can't get his own shit together. Oh, and also for that mean tan line.
WATE Channel 6 News Anchor Trips on His Words
Where: Knoxville, Tenn.
When: August 2012
Did we just witness him have a heat stroke?
Local Smurf News 16
Where: Little Rock, Ark.
When: January 2013
He just blue himself.
ABC Texoma News Anchor: "I So Pale"
Where: Denison, Texas
When: May 2012
If you look closely at 4:31, you can see the exact moment the dread hits her face.
Fox Channel 5 Intern Walks on Set During Airtime
Where: Atlanta
When: 2011
Behind the scenes, he's probably wringing the motherfucker who tricked him into walking on set.
CBS Channel 8 Anchor Gets Really Angry on Camera
Where: Knoxville, Tenn.
When: May 2010
Technical difficultiies?! HULK SMASH!
Fox Channel 29 Morning News Crew Make Fun of the Kardashian Sisters
Where: Philadelphia
When: September 2011
He's just saying what everyone's thinking, guys.
Channel 6 News Anchor: "F*ck it."
Where: Miami
When: Unknown
If she's still looking for a job after this, she should look into voice acting.
Canadian News Anchor: Sausage Competition Gone Bad
Where: North Battleford, Canada
When: February 2012
Wait for it...wait for it...there it is! With that much sausage, a dick joke was inevitable.
KGW 8 News Anchor Interviews Woman Who Admits the Local Vacuum Cleaner Man Has Seen Her Tits
Where: Portland, Ore.
When: November 2012
She's not here to lie to you.
NBC Channel 4 Storm Team Makes a Strange Discovery
Where: Washington, D.C
When: October 2012
Here, ladies and gentleman, is a man with nothing to lose and no fucks to give.
"Ain't nobody got time for that!"
Where: Oklahoma City
When: April 2012
Sweet Brown's house caught fire, but she's taking it in stride.
San Diego 6 Anchor Doesn't Know How That Turkey Caller Works
Where: San Diego
When: November 2010
She puts it right in her mouth.
MyFox Atlanta Captures Grape Stomping Gone Wrong
Where: Atlanta
When: January 2006
You'll never un-hear the noises that anchor makes when she bites it.
The Day the Swag Died
Where: Los Angeles
When: June 2012
Nothing to add here.
Shout Out to Huge Anus!
Where: Los Angeles
When: March 2013
"I totally fell for it, didn't I?" Yes, you corny, corny man.
Global Saskatoon Anchor Demonstrates New Technique
Where: North Battleford, Canada
When: February 2013
And that's how you give a blowjob.
NBC 4 Anchors Wheeze With Laughter
Where: New York
When: July 2007
How is it that all of these anchors laugh exactly the same way, like gas escaping from a cellophane cigarette wrapper?
Fox 29 Anchor Is a Creeper
Where: Philadelphia
When: April 2013
Listen at 24 seconds in—is he making a joke, or does that anchor actually laugh like a Scooby-Doo villain?
Local 12 News Does Dance Party Fridays and Sings Elton John for their Viewers
Where: Cincinnati
When: December 2012
Please, don't watch the entire thing (unless you're a real connoisseur of discomfort humor), but stick around long enough to ask yourself, "What the fuck does this guy know about shutter shades?"
Real-Life Brick Tamland on NBC26 Today
Where: Green Bay, Wis.
When: January 2012
He wishes he was as cool as Brick. But no, these are just the two corniest white people in Wisonsin, where the race for that title is running hot.
Student Doesn't Want to Appear on WUFT
Where: Gainesville, Fla.
When: February 2012
That awkward moment when you realize you're making copies during a live news broadcast.
CBS Channel 2 News Anchor: Coming Through Your Window
Where: New York
When: May 2012
Thankfully, no one was hurt by the falling shirtless man.
ABC Channel 7 News Anchor: A Silent Killer
Where: New York
When: May 2012
Fart failure is the leading cause of death among Americans weighing between 300 and 500 pounds.
KDVR Fox 31 Anchor Makes Baby Cry
Where: Denver
When: September 2012
It's not fair that babies can use crying as a comeback to viscious taunting.
WSMV News Anchor Gets the Carp Scared Out of Her
Where: Nashville, Tenn.
When: October 2012
If you listen closely, what at first sounds like a scream is actually her saying "BE ABOUT." She was trying to finish reporting! She's so brave.
WINK News: Focus on the Background
Where: Fort Myers, Fla.
When: Unknown
You know you wanted to see it get hit by a car, too.
WHOR News Anchor: Twin Titties
Where: Ohio
When: Unknown
How dare he disgrace Queen Bey like that.
KUSI News: "What a Flucky Boy"
Where: San Diego
When: June 2008
Why would she say that about a boy who has difficulty seeing?
Around America Channel 9 Anchor Laughs at Description of Murder
Where: El Paso, Texas
When: April 2009
Props for seeing the silver lining in a dead mother of two!
Fox 8 News Anchor Can't Report Breaking News
Where: Cleveland
When: June 2011
The weirdest part is that they fart all over each other when the cameras shut off.
Houston Anchor: "What the f*ck are we doing here?"
Where: Houston
When: 2012
What are the odds that he throws himself off that bridge after the camera cuts away?
Channel 7 Anchor: "But he's gay!"
Where: Albuquerque, N.M.
When: May 2006
Watch the fail here
Of all the stereotypes about gay people, the one about their inability to climb mountains is the most puerile.
Channel 9 NBC News: Get That Ass Cream Vendor
Where: Denver
When: October 2008
They should lock up that filthy ass cream vendor!
Fox News Anchor Gets Mauled by Cat When Reporting About Animal Abuse
Where: Cleveland
When: March 2007
Don't act so surprised, Kathleen. The cat's not making those sounds because it likes you.
Fox Channel 5 Anchor: "Keep F*cking that Chicken"
Where: New York
When: September 2009
It's all about the reaction of the woman on the far left.
A Rough First Day at North Dakota's KFYR
Where: Bismarck, N.D.
When: April 2013
Nothing like muttering profanity under your breath like a psych patient to turn your first day into your last.
Taking Advantage of the Intern
Where: Los Angeles
When: December 2011
A moment so fraught with sexism and gender politics, you want an especially large copy of Lean In—so that you can clobber the fucker asking for a back rub.
French-Canadian News Anchor Gets a Nosebleed
Where: Montreal
When: June 2013
It's like when you accidentally pop a pimple in Algebra 2 and you know everyone is watching you dab at your face like a crazy person. Just like that, but times 1,000 because it's on live television.
