Image via Complex Original
What do we know? That Twitter and the 24-hour news in a time of crisis are the worst. Nothing breeds mistakes, exaggerations, and other poor reporting like 24 hours spent poring over small bits of information. As the manhunt for the second suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing continues, we get to watch the news networks scramble for new updates when there aren't any to be had.
For instance, CNN is fucking up. How are they fucking up? Let's look back at the last few days, and this morning in particular, for the facts.
RELATED: CNN Is Tripping Over Itself Racing to Cover the Boston Non-Arrest
CNN Says the "Dark-Skinned" Suspect Has Been Arrested—And, Hold On, No One Has Been Arrested
Date: April 17th, Afternoon
The first point of the Society of Profession Journalists' ethics code: "Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error."
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Federal Law Enforcement Source Tells CNN, "Anyone Who Says [There's Been] an Arrest Is Ahead of Themselves." Oops.
CNN Takes A Swing At What This Black Easel Business Is About
Date: April 18th, Mid-Day
This is the reality of 24-hour news. Enjoy!
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CNN Doesn't Cut In Coverage For Nearly An Hour
Date: April 19th, Early Morning
Er, sorry. CNN is only a 24-hour news network some of the time. Twitter is the real 24-hour trainwreck.
CNN Interviews College Bro Who Details "Not-Foreign Dude Weed-Smoking" Suspect
Date: April 19th, Morning
QUICK! Get to Reddit to see if anyone has described a person as a "foreign dude" and we'll wrap this case up.
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CNN Analyzes Smokers: "Sometimes He Smokes, You Know What That Means"
CNN Interviews Friend With Pink Dildo In The Shot
CNN Has Thoughts On What It Means to Be an American
Date: April 19th, Morning
Fuck objectivity, you know? It's too real out here to not, like, feel emotions about these non-American Americans. AMURICA.
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CNN Can't Even Get Ruslan Tsarni's Name Right After He Spells It Out For Them
CNN Wins Award for Worst Graphic
CNN Reports That Bombing Suspect Has Quoted Jay-Z on Twitter
CNN Reports There Are Links to Rap and Slang on the Suspect's Twitter, Also Something "Chilling" About Finding Nemo in the Wake of the Bombing
CNN Attempts to Sound Profound About the Scene in Boston
Date: April 19th, Early Evening
Metaphor - n. a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them —Merriam Webster
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