The word "ratchet" may be played out, but until the Internet agrees upon a more accurate description for these crimes, it will have to do. These stories are sad, imaginative, and they inspire us to have conversations about race, class, and the American dream.
This week's roundup includes smuggling liquid cocaine disguised as rum, breaking into a house to choke a barking dog, and hitting a pregnant woman with a chicken sandwich. Each crime is rated on our Ratchet Meter, a base-10 logarithmic scale modeled after a similar system developed by Charles Richter—except that the Ratchet Meter has nothing to do with science because it's not actually a real thing.
Read on for the best of the worst ratchet crimes in America. Proceed with caution, stay safe, don't try this at home, and send your tips to cityguidetips@complex.com.
And for your viewing pleasure, here's the Ratchet News Network with The Kid Mero:
RNN: Ratchet News Network
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Woman Arrested for Trying to Smuggle Cocaine Hidden Inside of Custard Packages
Florida Man's Reason for Fapping in Front Yard Is Hilarious
Maryland High Schooler Arrested After Giving Teacher Weed Brownie
Date: 12/8/2014
Location: Annapolis, Md.
Crime: Drug charges, reckless endangerment and assault
Ratchet Meter: 3
A high school student in Maryland is under fire after giving a teacher a pot brownie which ultimately resulted in the woman's hospitalization.
The Smoking Gun reports that the woman, a teacher at Broadneck High School in Annapolis, Md., became ill on Monday afternoon. She reportedly told authorities that she was given a brownie by a student, and, as a result of her condition, suspected that it contained marijuana.
Authorities approached the unidentified 16-year-old, who confessed to giving both the teacher and his girlfriend part of a weed brownie. The Smoking Gun notes that his girlfriend was seen “acting lethargic.” However, the teen said he did not give the teacher the brownie out of malice:
The student, who was not identified by police, said that when the teacher asked him for a piece of the brownie, he got scared and panicked” and “didn’t mention it contained marijuana.
The teacher was treated and released from a local hospital; the student, meanwhile, was charged for reckless endangerment and assault, in addition to the obvious drug charges.
[via The Smoking Gun]
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