The New Amazon Originals Pilots Reviewed in 10 Words or Less

Stars: Kirk Ward, Tyler Ross, Maiara Walsh, Izabela Vidovic
Plot Synopsis: Zombies have taken over the world. It's up to an older, unfunny Stifler wannabe, a nerdy kid who talks too much, a beautiful girl whom the nerd sweats, and her precocious little sisters to keep humanity going.
The Review: Your one-stop shop for lame jokes conceived by brain-eating, undead writers.
So, Should You Watch?: Not unless you've been dying to see an on-the-nose version of the 2009 movie, complete with painfully exaggerated riffs on its already one-dimensional characters.

Stars: Jameeliah Garrett, Lily Sparks, James Adomian, Jonathan C. Daly, Riki Lindhome, Kristen Schaal, Ryan Sandoval
Plot Synopsis: Two of the most exaggerated urban divas imaginable work at a mall, talk about surface-level "woman's" issues—trifling men, fashion, and, of course, breakfast burritos—and battle against supernatural forces.
The Review: Imagine Comedy Central's underrated Ugly Americans robbed of its wit.
So, Should You Watch?: Only if your idea of "funny" involves obvious Instagram jokes and punch lines like "Spider, please!" when it's time to kill off some mutant arachnids.

Stars: Joe Dinicol, Karan Soni, Jonathan C. Daly, Charlie Saxton
Plot Synopsis: Four nerds have an idea for a great app, and only their crippling social awkwardness can stop them.
The Review: Workaholics x The Big Bang Theory - charisma/talent = fart
So, Should You Watch?: Stay far away from these easy jokes about selfies and the autistic spectrum. Just watch The Social Network on mute at your local middle school instead.

Stars: Jeffery Tambor, Christopher Masterson, Aja Naomi King, William Sadler, Laila Robins
Plot Synopsis: A new reporter shows up to work at the Onion News Network, where everything is straight jokez.
The Review: Who asked for an Airplane-style parody of Aaron Sorkin?
So, Should You Watch?: If you asked for that, then yes, you should watch. And get what you deserve. All others should steer clear of this bizarrely high concept exercise in goofy Naked Gun-esque spoofing. Did we mention it's not funny? It's not funny.

Stars: John Goodman, Clark Johnson, Matt Malloy, Mark Consuelos
Plot Synopsis: A bunch of bumbling Republican sentaors share a house together in D.C.-shenanigans ensue.
The Review: Broad jokes about Republicans aren't as funny as real life.
So, Should You Watch?: Sure, if only to see what an Amazon Original looks like with some money and talent involved. Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau helms this one, and though it looks polished and boasts real actors, the jokes are inert, easy potshots at Republican nimrods. It lacks the complexity of Veep. But it's got a Bill Murray cameo. So there's that.

Stars: Clancy Brown, Phil LaMarr, John Ross Bowie, Kevin Sussman, Richard Kind, Andrew Daly, Jamie Denbo
Plot Synopsis: For the sake of a paycheck to get by, two harmless average joes find work on an intergalactic warship.
The Review: To compete with Adult Swim, at least be kinda funny.
So, Should You Watch?: In case you missed the hint, just watch Adult Swim.

Stars: Bebe Neuwirth, Brigette Davidovici, Dustin Ingram, Marque Richardson, Chris Wood, Constance Wu
Plot Synopsis: Four eager interns fight to stand out a Huffington Post-esque publication, and occasionally break out into song to express their frustrations.
The Review: This show's a Glee knock-off without a redeeming Sue Sylvester.
So, Should You Watch?: Just wait for The Internship to come out.

Stars: Benjamin Roy, Adam Cayton-Holland, Andrew Orvedahl, Nikki Glaser, Rory Scovel
Plot Synopsis: Three doofy and incompetent teachers, all the best of bros, try to earn respect in a high school full of kids who treat them like losers.
The Review: Five bucks says this was the pitch: Community meets Workaholics.
So, Should You Watch?: Meh, revisit your favorite Funny or Die videos instead. Same jokes in a fourth of the time you'll waste.