Image via Complex Original
No one wants to be branded a pariah on social media, especially among friends and family. But like placing a weapon in the wrong person's hands, social media can be destructive when it isn't used properly, taking your good name, relationships and job along with it. You've got to be savvy and watch what you Tweet. And Facebook. And capture on Instagram. A lot of guys we know are doing it wrong. So here's a list of what you need to stop and why.
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Written by Jill Krasny (@jillkrasny)
Post Inspirational Quotes Clearly Taken From Pinterest
Remember those inspirational posters in your school nurse's office? This is like that, but even cheesier.
Subliminal Tweets
If you don't have the balls to address the person you're talking about, you should really keep your grievances to yourself. Either that or grow some balls and @ the dude.
Take Screenshots of What You're Listening To
Spying on friends' Spotify playlists might be the greatest past time of our generation. But you're not adding anything of value by posting a screenshot of a song we can't play. Share the actual track instead.
Refer to Yourself in the Third Person
Facebook did away with those weird status updates years ago for good reason: They made people sound like pretentious, out-of-touch morons. Plus, it's downright creepy.
Humblebrag
Dear you, the guy who's pretending not to brag about his amazing body, friends, whatever. You're making us feel like losers.
Take Screenshots of Conversations That Aren't Funny
Everyone wants to sound witty on social media. This is not how you go about it.
Post Pictures of Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
Memories are made over meals, that much is true. But friendships can, and will be, destroyed when you post one too many pictures of what you put in your stomach each day. Especially if it looks like this.
Threaten Someone With Violence
Never in style, this is sure to land you in jail and make you sound scarier than you actually are. Depending on your rap sheet, we think it's better to be nice than sorry.
Beg Celebs to Notice You
When you tweet at celebs more than your friends, your social life's in need of a tune-up. We're guessing Bieber was too busy meeting Canada's Prime Minister to notice this.
Exhibit Thirst
You've seen the parched comments that fly across girl's Instagram photos. If you don't want to wind up getting clowned by us, and the world at the large, quench your thirst offline.
Not Spell Very Good
Spelling is hard, we know. But why must you persist in misspelling every damn thing? Do your noggin a solid and download Webster's free app.
Spam About Your Club/DJ/Record/Band/Sports Drink
People have enough in their feed, so why are you adding to it? The hard sell just looks desperate and no one is buying. Please stop.
Be Emo
Had a bad day? Well, so did the rest of us who went in to work. Welcome to life.
Share Your Bank Account Info
Like @NeedADebitCard's description says, "Please quit posting pictures of your debit cards people." Unless you're cool with letting some rando off the Internet drain your account.
Flirt With Women Who Are Not Your Girlfriend
Nothing breeds a fight like some good old fashioned jealousy. If you're hoping to get some blood boiling, tweet sweet nothings for all the world to see at someone who is not your girlfriend. Bonus: Instagram your hot colleague.
Post About Your Kids Nonstop
Sorry, the only people interested in your little bundle of joy are you and your immediate family. Save the spit-up war stories for life off the web.
Scoop a Friend's Big Announcement
So your friend got dumped and you blabbed it to all your friends before he did. No worries, right? Sorry, scooping your friend is guaranteed to set him off and looks utterly shameless.
Be a Racist Asshole
Hate speech is depressing and no one with a functioning brain enjoys reading it. So why be the asshole who posts it?
Bully Your Bros
Funny in person, but on the web? Not so much. Someone's bound to take your joke the wrong way, and don't underestimate what someone random might think.
Share Your Phone Number
If robo calls are your thing, then by all means do this. But if you'd prefer to scarf your Gordito in peace and can't bear to make Mark Zuckerberg richer, keep this one to yourself.
Act Like a Brat
"I can do what I want." Really? If you're 18 and reading this, we know your dad's cutting the checks.
Tell the World You're Watching Porn
For some reason even porn sites are getting social, but that doesn't mean you should chime in. Do your job a solid and think before hitting the Tumblr share button on PornHub.
Bitch About Work
We all hate our jobs. That's just common knowledge. But if you think bitching about it will score points with your boss, then you've got another pink slip coming.
Overdo it on the Hashtags
Litter every post with too many of these and no one will give a crap what you're saying. Trust us, if it's interesting, people will find it. Besides, who wants to #read #something #annoying #like #this?
Drunk Tweet
Drake was onto something when he proclaimed that "you only live once." But if you Tweet something stupid, chances are you'll live to regret it. Just ask the chick #gettingslizzerd while accidentally Tweeting from Red Cross' account in 2011.
