France’s young, hip president Emmanuel Macron and our not young or hip president Donald Trump planted a cute oak tree together and pretended to be BFFs earlier this week. But who cares about cheesy politics! All anyone could pay attention to was Melania Trump’s wide-brimmed white hat and her ability to deflect any affection from her husband.

Stephen Colbert pointed out as much during the Late Show on Tuesday night. He first commented on the awkward moment when the president went in for a kiss, but Melania is protected by her huge hat. “Trump goes for the kiss, and oh! Saved by the hat,” he joked. “That is more than a hat, that is a defensive perimeter. Their deal is, either she gets to wear the hat or Trump has to wear a cone.”

But the moment that really went viral yesterday was Trump’s terrible attempt to hold Melania’s hand. He just kind of plays around with her fingers hoping she’ll take the bait. She doesn't. “Trump tried to hold Melania’s hand and she is not having it man,” Colbert said of the tragic incident. “He’s like trying to arouse a dead trout.”

 

🎶 I want to hold your haaaaaaand, I want to hold your hand 🎶

A post shared by New York Magazine (@nymag) on Apr 24, 2018 at 11:49am PDT

Of course, this became the perfect moment to speculate on why Melania wouldn’t hold his hand. Perhaps she’s still mad at him for cheating on her with Stormy Daniels. Maybe she knows that he doesn't wash his hands after he uses the bathroom. Or maybe his hands were just clammy. “You can’t blame her though,” Colbert added. “I mean, she watches 60 Minutes. She knows where that hand has been.”