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This morning the first trailer arrived for Star Wars: Rogue One Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, the first of three announced Star Wars standalone spinoff flicks. Disney launching another nother trilogy was controversial enough, but it was even more difficult to know what to make out of a movie set outside of the trilogy of trilogies. The synopsis was intriguing enough: Rogue One will follow the group of rebels who stole the plans to the Death Star to set in motion the events of A New Hope. But how watchable would a Star Wars flick be without the Jedi and Sith and the lightsaber battles that follow naturally? Ideally, we'd reserve judgment until the film actually hits in December. But that's not how the internet works. If the full movie is the final exam, consider today's trailer the first quiz. I'm inclined to give it a passing grade, but that's not enough. Let's nerd the fuck out about every detail in the 90-second spot. 

Eat shit, men's right activists. Star Wars is getting another female lead. Jyn Erso, played by Felicity Jones of The Theory of Everything fame, will lead the charge in the Death Star blueprint heist. And homegirl is throwing off some serious James T. Kirk vibes. Her rapsheet includes forgery of imperial documents, possession of stolen property, aggravated assault, and resisting arrest. "This is a rebellion, isn't it?" she says. "I rebel." 

I respect it. 

Mon Mothma (Genevieve O'Reilly) is the one recruiting Erso, according to Entertainment Weekly. You may remember her character as the one who gave the rebel briefing in Return of the Jedi. She was originally played by Caroline Blakiston, and O'Reilly took on the role for a deleted scene in Revenge of the Sith. O'Reilly is nowhere near top billing on Rogue One, so who knows how much she'll factor in outside of this trailer. 

Oh, and here's Diego Luna's character's intently listening ass. 

Jyn Erso is seriously dope. 

Anyway, the mission is to find out about the mysterious weapon the Empire is testing. We knew this. But look at this construction shot! I wonder how the Empire feels about unions. Probably anti-union. Star Wars is a franchise that transcends age, and gender, and race, and political beliefs, and all that. But let's not even front like the Empire doesn't have Republican tendencies. 

Ben Mendelsohn's apparent Grand Admiral got a fit off. I can't believe Four Pins (RIP) hasn't tweeted about it yet. It's only a matter of time. Say what you want about the Sith and the Empire, but their aesthetic clearly and consistently reigns supreme. Speaking of Supreme, when are we going to get a Kylo Ren collaboration???

​And here's Forest Whitaker. Apparently he's concerned about Jyn Erso. "What will you do when they catch you?" he asks. I've got my own questions. Why do you care about her, Forest Whitaker? And damn, can you let a girl live? 

Apparently the Brits think this was shot in the Underground, but, like, who gives a shit? You've already got your actors all up in the new generation of Star Wars (Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Felicity Jones, etc). Can y'all chill? 

Give this guy a lightsaber, please. As thrilling as this trailer is, I still need my lightsaber fix. I will not relent on this. I'm a lightsaber junkie. 

"If you continue to fight what will you become?" A HERO, FOREST. Seriously, why are you so preachy? Is this The Walking Dead's Morgan a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away and with the annoyance dialed up to 11? Forest Whitaker moping around this heist is the only downside of this trailer. And also the title. I really hate that title. What was wrong with Star Wars: Rogue One? Do we really need "A Star Wars Story" to further differentiate this from the trilogies? I know the general public is dumb enough to warrant warnings on anything that could possibly cause a burn or a paper cut, but they're not that dumb. At least it's not called Episode 0.5

Look how great Jyn looks jacking a black Stormtrooper (?) alphet. I'm doubling down on my endorsement of the Empire's aesthetic, and I'm doubling down on my enthusiasm for Rogue One. This should be a gripping film that offers an even fresher take on Star Wars than The Force Awakens. There's much more room to play around here, and Rogue One isn't wasting the opportunity. Ticket pre-sales could begin right now, and I'd plop down my money. 

Now when's the second trailer dropping?