Da Band’s Freddy P says his mental health is at a precarious point—and he’s placing most of the blame on Diddy.

Earlier this week, the Miami-based rapper took to Instagram to share some thoughts on his former boss and his experience on MTV’s Making the Band 2—a hip-hop competition series in which Diddy formed the now-defunct group Da Band. Freddy was selected as one of the members, along with Sara Stokes, Dylan Dilinjah, Chopper “Young City,” Babs, and E. Ness, who would go on to release just one album before Diddy dissolved the group in season 3.

On Tuesday, Freddy reshared a post in which a fan blasted Diddy for the way he treated Da Band; the message was accompanied by a series clip in which the contestants were forced to travel across the Brooklyn Bridge to fetch one of Diddy’s favorite cheesecakes.

“God knows if I was @diddy I would’ve done WAY MORE FOR THESE KIDS,” Freddy wrote in the caption. “Any real ninja would’ve. You start out JUST CHASING A DREAM. Then it QUICKLY GET SNATCHED AWAY. Made me NEVER WANT TO RAP. God gone have the last laugh. My talent was given to me to touch hearts and homes an it was silenced. You silenced Gods plan. Everyone who ever took part will depart horribly from [planet Earth emoji].”

Freddy continued to air his grievances in an Instagram video, claiming his experience with Diddy has continued to cause him serious mental distress—so much so, he’s considered taking his own life.

“A lot of people don’t understand what I’ve been through. This year alone, I’ve contemplated suicide two or three times,” he said. “I done pictured my brother walking in, finding me dead. I cried a few times thinking about leaving my son, because you just gets tired of life. It’s like, no matter what you try to do, you just gotta keep battling. N***as got they foot on your neck, n***as wanna see you fall.” He continued, saying, “It’s these n***as like Puffy, he my main motherfuckin’ reason why I really hate f*ckin’ life, dog. People don’t even understand.”

You can hear Freddy’s full comments below.

The video came shortly after Willie Taylor, another Making the Band star, accused the series of setting up artists for failure. Taylor was featured in Making the Band 4, which followed the formation of the R&B group Day 26.

“Making The Band was [an] experience for sure,” he wrote in a since-deleted post. “But the platform and contracts were all set up for the failure of hungry talents … Learning Experience, you gotta Understand that People will do to you whatever you allow them, so don’t let your passion drive you to the wrong destination #MTB4 Day26 / Danity Kane are talented groups but the situation in which we met was designed to fail.”