If you're thinking about dating Taylor Swift, know this: Your behavior—good, bad, or in-between—will be documented in song, and "The Ballad of You Being a Dick" might very well become a top 10 single.

Today Taylor releases her latest studio album, the bound-to-be-huge Red, and we're already sure that its chart-topping hit, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," is about ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal. Others who've been Swift-noted for failing to measure up are Joe Jonas, John Mayer, and the high school boyfriend who cheated on her. 

Sometimes Taylor has said who she's singing about ("Hey Stephen" and "Dear John" turned out to be about guys named Stephen and John), other times the fans have had to compare the lyrics to her frantic dating history to find a match. But make no mistake, these songs are about real people.

Here's the definitive history of a young girl, a guitar, and baskets full of dirty laundry in need of airing.