A crucial component of the raw joy of ravenously consuming a sack of grease-drenched, deep-fried potatoes is that math isn't involved with this pastime at all. At least, not traditionally. One Harvard professor, however, feels that should change.
Back in November, epidemiology and nutrition professor Eric Rimm of the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health referred to the French fry as a "weapon of dietary destruction" in a New York Times hit piece on my already fleeting happiness.
"There aren't a lot of people who are sending back three-quarters of an order of French fries," Dr. Rimm said. "I think it would be nice if your meal came with a side salad and six French fries."
The article focused on the admittedly obvious (though not less worthy of discussion) health fuckeries related to frequent dalliances with our deceptive vegetable vice.
Rimm's comments were of course met with widespread acclaim, with millions promptly uniting at drive-thrus across the country to demand a six-fry assist for their daily intake of circularly presented ground meat. Just kidding. Those hell-bent on at least seven fries had quite a bit to say about Dr. Rimm's seemingly sadistic suggestion of simply six:
To really honor this pastime without regard to its possible toll on our insides, it's arguably best to eschew this six fries tip in favor of a similar but infinitely more inspiring amount: 666 fries. It's only fair.