15 Types of People You Meet At an Art Gallery Opening

The art world is a delicate ecosystem, filled with different breeds of people that descend on the watering hole of the gallery-goer jungle—art gallery openings. Hit up Chelsea on a Thursday night, and you will spot different breeds of gallery visitors. From stuck up Gallerinas to rich collectors to creepy dudes looking for a date, art gallery openings are filled with eccentric characters. Familiarize yourself with the art world with our list of 15 Types of People You Meet At an Art Gallery Opening and then venture out into the galleries to observe them in their natural habitat.

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When Jay Z rapped "Picasso Baby" at Pace Gallery for six hours, everyone was like "Hip-hop in a gallery?! Jay is totally breaking boundaries and redefining genres, and the art world as we know it will never be the same!" Then he danced with Marina Abramovic, and people realized, "Ok, so now Jay Z is a performance artist, and rap can be a form of high art, and Marina still has crazy eyes." Now that the art/rap crossover is recorded on Vine etched in stone, we expect to see more rappers engaging with the art world. (Let's not forget Swizz Beatz's love affair with Basquiat or Kanye's performance at Art Basel). That doesn't mean that rappers look as smooth in a gallery as they do on stage. As Twitter pointed out, Jay Z looked more than a little awkward among a bunch of rich white people.

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If rappers can hang out in art galleries, why can't athletes, right? Yet not every athlete can pull a Jay Z. Instead, when athletes embrace art, the results can be hilariously awful. And when they show up to gallery openings (or in RGIII's case, the Louvre) they don't always fit in, not only because they are feet taller than everyone else, but because they usually don't dress the part. What looks fresh in the gym just doesn't fly in the white walls of an art gallery.

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While the Bravo TV series Gallery Girls may not be coming back for another season (praise the TV gods), it did make a lasting impression by introducing the world to the concept of the Gallerina. Swarms of these ladies in red-lipstick squeeze into gallery openings to sip on free champagne and look pouty. You can pick them out by their perfect outfits, towering heels, and iPhones paid for by their parents. Like expensive art, they may be pretty to look at, but they're not worth the effort.

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Jerry Saltz is the art critic extraordinaire for New York Magazine, and he can get people who don't give a shit about art to read a multi-page review. The lovable critic had the best time ever at Jay Z's Pace Gallery performance, and he approaches every opening with the same gung-ho enthusiasm. While Saltz seems to be the go-to NYC authority on gallery openings (expecting his wife, Roberta Smith of the New York Times), if you don't spot him at an exhibition kick-off, there's sure to be a flock of lower-tier journalists scribbling in notebooks and snapping mediocre images with their iPhones.

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Whether they're at an opening looking for inspiration or just showed up for the free drinks, these struggling artists always bring the conversation back to their own work. While they may be a bit of a buzz kill, we have to give them props for trying. Hey, what better place to meet a rich collector that just might be your lucky break?

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These people are usually artists more famous for their Twitter and Instagram accounts than they are for their art. Always posting about awesome art shows, these online celebrities appear to have the best lives ever. While they're fun to follow online, in reality, they spend most of the time at exhibits typing out witty commentary on their Smartphones.

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These gallery-goers aren't really performance artists, but they sure think they are (or at least, they like attention as much as Marina does). This particular species in the gallery jungle dresses to inspire shock, awe, and WTF. Wild clothing, crazy accessories, and mind-boggling haircuts define them. They pull so much attention away from the works that they might as well be an exhibit all to themselves. With this crew, an exhibition is never boring.

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The art collector is usually an old white dude who doesn't look like he can hang with all the young people at an art gallery, but don't get it twisted—he's the only person the gallery really wants to show up. He's also the only one who knows how much everything on the walls costs, and he isn't as excited as everyone else about the free drinks.

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The art school kids might be hanging out at a gallery to learn or thing a two, or they may just be looking for free booze. These underage drinkers stop by after class in backpacks and roll up in groups of five or more. Just hope they're not freshmen.

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Like Jay Z, we just have to get over it and accept that James Franco is in the art world. When he's not curating, exhibiting, or starring in a work of art, he's Instagramming about art (see the disturbing McCarthy-inspired image above). Like it or not, Franco and the art world are BFFs 4ever. If you don't spot Franco himself at a gallery opening, keep an eye out for the really weird world-travelled Franco doll.

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Everyone knows that hot girls hang out at gallery openings, and these dudes aren't there for the art but for the ladies. Whether they're pretentious young men using their art knowledge to try and impress girls who are just there to drink (thank you very much) or creepy older dudes hanging out in the corner, these pickup artists don't seem to score often. Maybe the guys who post about art galleries on Missed Connections have more luck.

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Bartenders at art exhibits are usually young and beautiful, but they are also often pissed off. With only one bar and thirsty crowds, they have to manage the needs of a bunch of incresingly drunk gallery-goers. Also, for some reason the bars at gallery openings seem to run out of what everyone really wants to drink within the first 5 minutes. On top of that, not everyone tips (looking at you, art school kids).

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With a whole blog called Babes at the Museum, you know that hotties frequent gallery openings as well. If that's not reason enough to start taking an interest in the latest happenings in the art world, we give up.

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Did you forget to RSVP to an already packed art gallery opening? Then this girl is just as rock solid as a 250-pound bouncer. The women working the doors may look charming and friendly, but don't be fooled by their innocent exteriors. These ladies hold the list, which means they hold all the power.

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No matter how long you slave over picking out a cool, effortless, artsy outfit for a gallery opening, you will never look as cool as these people. We don't know who they are or what they do, but, like French people smoking hand-rolled cigarettes, they just do it better. These gallery-goers are the original hipsters.

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