10 Interior Design Mistakes That Won't Get You Laid

Image via Complex Original

Too Many Collectibles

Gentleman, let's face it — at the tender age of 14, it was entirely appropriate to clutter your childhood room with sports paraphernalia, action figures, bobbleheads, etc. Once you get to the age when you're having women over, however, it becomes just about as distracting as women having their Barbies and dolls staring straight into your soul while you're at it. A trinket here or there, autographs, signed baseballs, and the like are okay (we get it, you have hobbies), but a room full of cluttered shit from the past? Pack it up at your parents' house if it's that special or pawn it.

Signs of Life

When decorating your spot, there should be more plants around than the ones you smoke, but never any that appear dead, dying, or molding. If you're gonna make the effort to spruce up your place with plants or a fish tank, do it right and take care of that shit.

Sheets as Curtains

Every man's room needs natural light and covering up a window with anything but a curtain or blinds will always look ratchet. Hanging sheets as curtains looks terrible from the inside of your place and from the street. What's an even worse thought is that if you haven't gone to buy curtains, you certainly didn't buy new sheets for your windows.

Empty Walls

Most rooms shouldn't be cluttered with movie posters, the typical Animal House print, or your old fraternity paddles. However, a few framed photos here and there can fill up any room pretty quick and make your place inviting. Simplicity is one thing, but emptiness is another. 

Old Furniture

Vintage furniture is always a plus, but old and decrepit do not mean vintage. The couch you found at a thrift store during undergrad most likely does not belong in your new, more mature apartment, especially for the men that like to use places other than their beds with women. No female wants to cringe when they have to search for the remote between couch pillows with dirty tissues, tattered cushions, and whatever other treasures are within those crevices. New couch too expensive? Grab a couch cover and a few bottles of Febreeze.

Not Enough Furniture

The focal point in most men's living rooms is the television, which is understandable for all those basketball games and episodes of Mad Men. But if that's the only piece of furniture besides a small couch in your living room, that's no good. When decorating your pad, take the dimensions of your walls to see how much you can fit. Then again, too much furniture makes any small city apartment uncomfortable as well. No man should cram a plush, leather couch into a room that's meant for a loveseat.

Lack of Bedding

Any bed without bedding just looks plain raunchy. Most females don't want to lay on a mattress without sheets, no matter what the circumstance is. Then again, they don't need 800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, either. A simple mattress cover and a sheet can go a long way; the same can be said for pillowcases.

Bottles as Decorations

After graduating college, filling up empty wall, desk, or window space with empty liquor bottles as decor is a bit tacky. Once you're legal, you don't need physical proof to show that you drink alcohol. Plus, your girl probably doesn't want to wake up and gaze out of a window cluttered with empty bottles of Jack Daniels or whatever your drink of choice may be. Full liquor bottles on an in-house bar? We're down.

No Bedframes

Whether it's a one-night or you're spending the night with your lady, no female wants to roll over onto a hardwood floor in the morning. While many men may try emulating the bohemia lifestyle of two mattresses on the floor, it makes less noise but it's a lot less comfortable. Think bedframes are too expensive? There's always Ikea.

Bad Lighting

Few females want to arrive at their man's apartment and have him flick on a little desk lamp in the corner to light up the room. Poor lighting in any room leaves a lack of ambience. What's even worse is the use of black lights in any man's apartment, While having an old neon sign in your window is legit, why men would want to advertise any sort of stains with a black light makes little sense. Try floor lamps or even hanging white lights around doorframes.