Image via Complex Original
This soon-to-be-completed NFL season will be remembered for one thing: the ongoing concussions and head injuries debacle. We'll leave it to the NFL Players Association, Roger Goodell, and medical research to figure out that tricky issue, but meanwhile we hope that the players and their barbers can figure out another thing we've noticed plaguing the league: terrible haircuts.
We know these guys spend all their playing time with their heads and faces covered up, but with cameras everywhere and every professional sports player a target for scrutiny, we highly recommend that these dudes switch up the nastiness on their dome. Whether the 49ers or the Ravens emerge victorious next week, these are 10 guys who need to head to the barbershop immediately after the Super Bowl and get rid of The 10 Worst Haircuts of the 2012-2013 NFL Season.
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Peyton Manning
Quarterback, Denver Broncos
Dear Peyton,
Your skills are still beyond belief, you had the comeback performance of the year, you may be 2012's MVP, but we still look at you and giggle. Your yokel-ass hair may have passed in Indianapolis, but there must be some stylish barbers in Denver, right? Otherwise we're gonna keep confusing you with a Buckwild cast member.
Nick Foles
Quarterback, Philadelphia Eagles
The Bieber sweep didn't work for Brady, and it sure as hell isn't going to work for Nick Foles and the Eagles. This league is for men, not boys who think swaggy is an accurate descriptor and wear drop-crotch pants. Get a haircut and don't make your time in Philly any harder than it already will be.
Domata Peko
Defensive Tackle, Cincinnati Bengals
There's a fine line between intimidating/awesome cave-man hair and what Domata Peko has going on. Yes, living in Cincinnati is terrible, but that's no reason to simply give up on your appearance. Someone get this man a pair of shears, and remind him that at least he doesn't have to live in (shudder) Cleveland.
Curtis Painter
Quarterback, New York Giants
By looking like this much of a pussy, Curtis Painter is just inviting the opposing defense to sack the shit out of him. Luckily, he'll play for the New York Giants in 2013, so someone please give him a decent barber recommendation somewhere in the five boroughs.
Eli Manning
Quarterback, New York Giants
With both Manning brothers on this list, it's official. Their father, Archie Manning, might have passed on some great football skills to his offspring, but his follicle genes are fuckin' wack.
Dontari Poe
Nose Tackle, Kansas City Chiefs
Dontari Poe was a rookie this past year, but hopefully he quickly pieced together that impersonating Kenny Powers is not the right way to impress your teammates and coaches.
Tom Brady
Quarterback, New England Patriots
It's definitely a step up from the Bieber sweep Brady was rocking in 2010, but at what cost? Gisele's iron-tight grip on the QB's balls has resulted in this greasy bird's nest sitting atop Brady. Is it a mohawk? Is it the #menswear sidepart? Whatever it is, it's gross, and only increases our collective hatred for the man.
Bryan Anger
Punter, Jacksonville Jaguars
Bryan Anger may have gotten away with this for most of the past season since he plays for the Jaguars, and who honestly cares about the Jaguars. But we're calling him out here for entering combover territory. Embrace it, Bryan, and Bic your dome. Bald white guys with the last name "Anger" usually have a chance of looking like a badass, even if they're the punter.
Kyle Orton
Quarterback, Dallas Cowboys
As Tony Romo's backup, all Orton had to do in 2012 was ride the bench, watch Romo choke, party like a rock star, and have this terrible 'do. We get the feeling Orton is trolling the NFL here, but it's still pretty appalling.
Antonio Garay
Nose Tackle, San Diego Chargers
I mean... It's just... Maybe if... Could be that... What about...
No. This is just awful.