What Your Summertime Style Says About You

What they say: You're new to this whole fly and trendy thing, and just copped a few pairs of classic A.P.C. joints that you can't wait til fall to break in and debut. It won't be too bad, right? Stunting at those Independence Day weekend parties has got your swamp ass levels going from 0-100 real quick, but after blowing half a rack you're stubbornly committed to suffering through the whole summer until it cools down or you spontaneously melt in the middle of the street, whichever happens first.

What they say: Your summer is literally a vacation, so congrats on still being in high school or an underclassmen in college, dude. Getting properly dressed on any given weekday is nothing, because you're lounging all day so it's full comfort warm-weather cozy mode in some mesh shorts. If they're of the designer variety, then the last thing you do in your basketball shorts is play ball, because swag lord forbid you get your three figure joints dirty, smh.

What they say: You have a firm, assured grasp on both your summer look and your own personal sense of style. OR, you're completely lost in this world. Really though, jorts are one of the rare clothing items that can fall on both sides of the fence. One one hand, they recall an era when G-Unit clothing was something respectable to be seen in. But, the right pair, especially DIY joints you made yourself, can be pulled off with the right finesse. Attempt at your own risk.

What they say: You've never been to Hawaii. Instead, you just want to stand out at the pool party you're at because you're "that guy." But as you yell loudly about the trendy new restaurants you've been to and other facets of your conspicuous consumption, you stay near the shallow end because you actually don't know how to swim. Stay obvious and keep standing out, guy!

What it says: You're doing your best to participate in summer steez season despite working at a stuffy job that'd rather see you cook outside than come in casual. Or you're just some southern millionaire who keeps up his airs no matter how high the mercury rises.

What they say: You're completely okay with showing off your scraggly man-thigh. But even if you've been squatting beast numbers all winter long, no one really wants to see what's going on up there. These might fly in places like NYC and L.A., but being about that quad-life might catch you weirdo status anywhere else in the country. Keep the shorts at, a little below, or a little above the knee and you'll be set.

What they say: You're a bro who couldn't wait for July to roll around for a good reason to flex the guns during a summer that'll consist mostly of music festivals. And if the joint's extra bright, you probably claim RiFF RAFF as your Neon Icon.

What it says: You're a douche who can't let a sweltering hot day go to waste without showing off your pecs and abs on the street (barring an actual, honest jog, that is). We get it breh, you went hard on those obliques all winter. Save it for the actual beach though, lest we write you up for a thirst trap citation.

What it says: Day drinking in the summer is a competitive sport. You are the master of beer gardens, and you know how to expertly pack a cooler to maximize the number of cans you're able to bring to the beach. You consider the LIRR train out to the Hamptons to be a modified party bus. Besides your best homie who is nicknamed either "Barf"or "Boner," your flops are your most trusted companion, mainly because they have a bottle opener in their sole.

What it says: You're extremely faithful to your fresh code, sun be damned. You're okay with literally sizzling on these streets as long as the alphet's a heater too and the furthest away from the bright end of the spectrum. You are either literally a cold-blooded reptilian posing as a human, or you're a sado-masochist.