Image via Complex Original
Summer isn't fun for everyone. With the impending heat comes an impending struggle for certain groups of men who just aren't built to flourish from June to September. It's not that their style is wack; it's just that they were born into an unfortunate life in which summer is simply not their time to shine. This is the story of their plight. Read on for 10 Types of Stylish Guys Who Struggle Mightily During the Summer.
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Guys with chicken legs
We all know that guy who claims to be anti-shorts because they're oh so swagless, but the real reason is he's got knobbly knees perched on two toothpicks that he's too ashamed to brandish. Probably best to leave this 365-day jean-wearing bro out of the beach email blasts; you already know the answer's no.
All-black-everything loyalists
This goes out to all the street goths, bikers, punk rockers, and people who just like funeral colors because they're killing the competition. Your commitment to the all-black-over-everything alphet is brave, seeing as how you've basically signed a contract with the sun wherein you agree to immolate yourself all to stay true to your fresh code. Keep a bottle of water and some icepacks on deck at the very least.
Workwear enthusiasts
Similar to the all-black-everything soldier, dudes reppin hard for workwear steez face a big conundrum in these coming months. Sticking to your preferred guns means setting yourself up for a lot of sweaty days in all that flannel and those boots, breh.
Beard gang
Peace to all the non-babyfaces out there, because staying true to the beard gang during summer is like wearing an upside down beanie on the bottom of your face. Consider at least trimming down if you don't want half of your face feeling—and smelling—like a pair of socks after a good long run.
Dudes who sweat profusely
You poor, poor human. No matter how much antiperspirant you throw on, anti-layering you are, and how much lightweight gear you wear, the droplets start running down your back, pits and pretty much everywhere else the minute you step outside of an air-conditioned setting. Your burden is a heavy one. Our prayers are with you.
Cozy boy clique
Tuck those Nike Tech sweats away, fam. All that fleece and loopwheel sweat are gonna do nothing for you this season. It's time to finally dress like you're not just chilling in the cut watching Netflix for once.
Forever suited
Hard to believe, but some people actually have real jobs where they can't flourish in whatever super cool gear they want. If your job's got you stuck on permanent suited up level (not even a casual Friday!) then you're probably cooking the minute you step outside come July. Add a daily commute like riding the subway on top of that? Better have a change of shirts in your office drawer like Don Draper if you don't want the office nickname "Pit Stains McGee."
Layer addicts
Summer style has its merits, but some people are just too hardwired for those transition months like April or October. For these layer-loving gawds, that summer heat only means that their mid-weight layers and long-sleeve tees can't shine like they deserve. This is the dude who ignores all heat warnings and ends up catching a sun stroke in six garments.
Bird chest gang
That homie that can't benchpress more than the bar isn't going to enjoy a few months full of shirtless hours on the beach, heat that requires tank tops, and the fact that going air-tie means near suffocation.
Sunburn suckers
That poor epidermis challenged bro who can't be out in the sun for more than a few hours without going full Red Lobster. Not even relegated to the beach, this sap gets toasted just going about his day in the city. So you know what that means—the short sleeve and shorts flourish is a no-go. Dude's stuck cooking in long sleeves and trousers June through August. Pity this man.