The Best and Worst Style of the 2014 NBA Draft's Top Picks

The NBA Draft is always good for a surprise or two, but one thing is predictable beyond the picks: 90 percent of these dudes will, on the biggest night of their lives thus far, be utterly swagless. Hardcore sports fans may be facepalming at their team's decision, but we're facepalming at the suits. It's a written rule somewhere that athletes just can't help but totally fail when they try and show out on this style shit. Amid the garishness, there are a few who get it right. Like we always do at this time, let's take a look at how the top 10 picks fared in the arena that really matters: fashion.

RELATED: The 2014 NBA Style Draft: Hypebeasts, Street Goths, and Sneakerheads Make Their Picks

Pick number: 10
Chosen by: Philiadelphia 76ers

It'd be bad enough if EP was just rocking a dated ass double-breast, but his joint doesn't even fit. Dude's shaking Silver's hands like he has to stand at a certain angle to breathe properly. Maybe he can lend it to his new teammate Embiid, because it looks like he forgot to iron his blazer (more on him later).

Pick number: 9
Chosen by: Charlotte Hornets

White shirt collar, matching white bowtie, jeez what a fail. Six degrees of swaglessness just got a little closer since he's joining the Hornets-turned-Bobcats-turned-Hornets-again, owned by simultaneous Swag/Strug Lord NBA GOAT Michael Jordan (sorry, MJ). Now all Noah has to do is play at Jordan level to validate his bad off-court choices. Good luck, breh.

Pick number: 8
Chosen by: Sacramento Kings

Why, why windowpane? When is this ever a good idea? More importantly how many guys actually pull this off? And salmon pink for the tie and pocket square game on top of that, smh. He may be a King now, your boy Stauskas is certainly not a swag lord.

Pick number: 7
Chosen by: Los Angeles Lakers

Is that a bowtie or a dead bat? Looks less like neckwear and more like those joints Batman throws at goons from his utility belt. And now that it looks like dude's going to be teammates with the league's biggest hypebeast, we should expect his style to get even wilder from here.

Pick number: 6
Chosen by: Boston Celtics

This is...a lot. Very touching that dude's repping for his dearly departed big brother on the biggest day of his life, but he's got a whole freaking street-art mural on the inside of his blazer. This is either very fashion-forward or wildly overdone, we can't decide. Anyway, Boston could use someone swag-inclined for better or worse since Rondo is just plain bland (and probably not long for Beantown after this).

Pick number: 5
Chosen by: Utah Jazz

These days, the only time you hear something colorful about the Jazz is when someone drives by blasting Biggie's "I Got a Story to Tell." The Aussie Exum may be the foreign flavor (pause) they need to get back in it. But what is with this trend of marking up the inside lining of the suit jacket like a subway in Harlem? Nerlens Noel and Steven Adams need not be trendsetters, guys, leave those cues in '13. Pretty sure that accent is all you need to put on for your continent.

Pick number: 4
Chosen by: Orlando Magic

Wow. Did Gordon have the insider tip on how last night was going to go or is he just a prophet? The ill all-cobalt-everything look only to end up drafted to the Blue Man Group Orlando Magic? This is probably one of the more successful style risks of the night. And with such a daring seer on the squad, maybe the Magic stand a chance at being relevant next season.

Pick number: 3
Chosen by: Philadelphia 76ers

How fitting that the reaction that will launch 1,000 memes by Saturday features an outfit so toned down and basic? Such a vast mix of emotions on your boy Embiid's face—confusion, bewilderment, sadness, apathy—the fact that he's wearing a simple white shirt-black tie combo just makes it that much funnier. Enjoy Philly dude, it won't be that bad.

Pick number: 2
Chosen by: Milwaukee Bucks

Honestly, after Wiggins and his diabolical stylist did it for the Vine and blinded us in the process, we needed something meh to shrug at as a palette cleanser. Not the strongest look, but far, far from the worst. Thank you for allowing us time to regroup after Wiggins-gate, Jabari.

Pick number: 1
Chosen by: Cleveland Cavaliers

Just, wow. This is what happens when you get a shout-out from Drake in the first bar before you've even gone pro. This is what happens when you basically know you're about to get the number one, maybe two, pick. Dude is clearly feeling himself, and who's to say he shouldn't be? He set out to show out tonight and wouldn't you have it, ESPN reporters are out here asking him "who he's wearing" like this is some red carpet shit.

Mission accomplished in the worst fucking way possible, word to the ill 3D-printed flower coloring book blazer. It is forever seared into our memories. Now, please go burn it if you ever want to join fellow new Cleveland citizen Money Manziel in the Hall of Game.