The 2014 NBA Style Draft: Hypebeasts, Street Goths, and Sneakerheads Make Their Picks

Just as all the analysts predicted, the Hypebeasts' copped Nick Young as soon as they could. Word on the street was that the Hypbeasts actually waited in line for three days prior to the NBA Style Draft for the doors to open just to have the coveted first pick. When Swaggy P announced he opted out of his contract with the Garish Celebrities last season, the Hypebeasts already knew they had to Instacop the talented Lakers player. After all—they really need that Supreme hook-up.

Tony Parker plays in one of the hottest cities in the country, and yet he somehow manages to find it appropriate to rock a scarf anytime he's not on the court, or as he calls it, the plaza. Dude may have just won a well-earned ring, but don't be surprised if he flosses all four at once now that he's been picked up by the gaudy Eurotrash team.

Sneakerheads weren't sure whether to pick Robinson because he actually wears his covetable kicks rather than stare at them longingly on a shelf out of fear they'll no longer be "deadstock." Fortunately for Robinson, his innate ability to consistently rock hits with otherwise wack outfits made him stand out among truly dedicated shoe enthusiasts—none of that fuccboi jogger pant/fashion nonsense here, the Nuggets point god is all about the shoes. For that, he's a shoo-in-or rather, a "shoe-in" for the sneakerheads.

People who overaccessorize are a loyal breed and stick to their own. So it's no surprise that the Obsessories have had their eye on Dwyane Wade ever since the guard began piling on the flair a few years ago down in Miami. Glasses, tie clips, rings, necklaces, pocket squares, lapel pins, more lapel pins, and maybe even a pocketwatch are all par for the course for Wade, who will be happy to be joining up with a clique that's always down to trade accessories between one another. Just remember that he'll have to train that much harder now that he's balling with seven pounds of extra shit on him.

No one is ever quite sure whether the Pitti Peacocks are trolling, actually have more than a modicum of self-respect, or if they're just desperately seeking validation via snagging the attention of street style photographers. Well now that they've chosen Paul George, the issue is still just as muddled. Regardless, PG's wild-ass 'fits are a welcome addition to this group of dudes who, if seen out of the context of Pitti Uomo, would probably be thrown into the loony bin.

The Miami Heat power forward also knows a thing or two about power suits. Bosh can bring it at a level that often looks better than teammates Dwyane Wade and LeBron James. Just like the effortlessly stylish Italians, his expertly tailored gear oozes with understated luxury—no peacocking here—that lets the sharp lines and furnishings do all the talking. Bosh also knows how to rock a double-breasted sportcoat like a true baller—because the best things in life have two breasts. That's exactly the kind of style the Bespoke Sprezz Squad want to add to its roster, already brimming with street style superstars like Simone Righi and Nick Wooster, but having Bosh in the fold will make them all the more formidable during fashion week. The Sartorialist doesn't know what's coming.

The mad scientist of style mixes and matches with no abandon, taking the risks other guys would balk at. The Proportion Players need a man like that on their squad, which usually consists of unathletic Internet men's fashion nerds and heavy-hitting steezy Japanese dudes. Adding Westbrook to their ranks gives this clique a good starter who can represent on the big fronts like New York Fashion Week and Paris Fashion Week, but has no problem stunting on the smaller courts like Peoria, Illinois' little-known Man Skirt Convention. Speaking of convention, this layer lover breaks it on a regular basis. Who says your shirt has to be shorter than your jacket? Not this guy.

The team that mixes high-end fashion with a street savvy sensibility has its fair share of talent to choose from, but JR Smith is the obvious choice here. Dude consistently shows up to New York Fashion Week sporting high-end pieces and dripping in jewels finished off with street-friendly kicks and/or headwear. There's no stopping the high-low mixing that's currently enjoying its moment, and JR Swish has mastered the flow, especially the high portion.

While Joakim Noah did show moves that would fit right in with the Eurotrash squad, ultimately, his flowing mane and fondness for beautiful jewelry made by local hippies who subsist off of homemade yogurt are a perfect fit the Blipster squad. This clique will truly benefit from his open-neck henleys and European sensibilities that naturally sneer at unsophisticates who do things like watch blockbuster movies and don't buy artisinally crafted hoodies.

Instead of having to switch up the time zones on his insane watch collection next season, Melo was blessed enough to be chosen by the only team that can properly rep the time gawd squad. Anthony is a straight-up horologist, and it's been his dream to play for the Wrist Gawdz ever since he was a child barely stunting with a Casio calculator watch.

When you're throwing it down with more ferocity than two Penn State dudes competing against one another in Edward 40hands, then you're going to need a wardrobe that doesn't tax your body during its downtime. Blake Griffin will find a natural home with the Cozy Boys, as he can switch between beast mode and spa day relaxation levels with a simple change of gear and watch his troubles melt away once the head-to-toe terrycloth takes effect.

The all-black-brigade gets a strong inside man in drafting Tyson Chandler. And when we say "inside man," we mean industry-side—the guy has an unabashed love of capes, so it's no surprise to see him flocking with dudes like award-winning Public School designers Dao-Yi Chow and Maxwell Osborne, who featured the flowy accessories in their latest collection. It doesn't hurt that Chow and Osborne have also collaborated with the Knicks in the past. Sure, a roster that includes A$AP Rocky, Rick Owens, Damir Doma, and Theophilus London seems a bit stacked, but the Street Goths are most definitely in it to win it this season.

Everyone may be speculating where Kevin Love is going to end up next season, but everyone knows where he's gonna be on Friday: straight up lounging at the office with an untucked shirt and maybe even replacing his square-toed loafers with a pair of wacky Crocs. This lug might even pop a beer at 4:30 because he's the resident wild man who absolutely lives for Casual Friday.

Every single element required to create a struggle streetwear lookbook—hella aggressive tattoos, mean mugging, an insane looking person—are all present when Birdman enters the room. Dude is repping the dregs of streetwear Tumblrs with his entire existence, so it's a no-brainer that the Strug Lords scooped him up. Expect this bottom-tier squad to continue Tweeting faux-philosophy and talking about how they're gonna take over the world with straight-up unstoppable creativity and paradigm-shifting maneuvers now that they have Birdman on the squad.

Normcore, the trend that refuses to go away, is drafting Tim Duncan in a last-ditch effort to boost its star power. Duncan's style resume is chock full of normcore fundamentals like baggy washed denim, ill-fitting button-downs, and backpacks that look like they came straight from a middle schooler. By not trying at all, Duncan's succeeded in channelling the "frumpy is the new fashionable" ethos that comprises normcore's err... core. Let's see if he can bring this clique to victory.