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12 Reasons Why Hypebeasts Make Awful Boyfriends

Don't catch the feels, fellas.

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Listen, we're not here to take direct shots or throw feels or make complete blanket statements. But when you combine the world of hypebeasts and dating, things are definitely going to become weird and incompatible. Take it from someone who's been involved with a few hypebeasts in the past. Expectations definitely need to be tempered. Some of these may be obvious, and some you can only learn from experience, but these are 12 Reasons Why Hypebeasts Make Awful Boyfriends.

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There's no way you can ever introduce him to your parents.

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They spend all their money on gear, and nothing on you.

You'll have to take countless iPhone photos of him until you capture the perfect GPOY.

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He'll never realize that material accumulation will never deliver true happiness.

Brand loyalty ≠ relationship loyalty.

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You'll never be more important than his hypebeast bff.

You're not allowed to be in his group photos.

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This isn't a phase they're going to grow out of.

If you want kids, too bad. The heat from wearing leather pants has already killed his sperm.

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They think they can hide from relationship and real-world problems behind masks and full-zip hoodies.

He'll steal your tights.

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Anyone who wears this is pretty dickless.

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