We previewed these Diemme python slip-ons at Capsule a while back and like products—yes, even completely insane ones—tend to do, they recently became available for purchase. They're $625, so the faint of heart might want to bail right now. For those brave, non bitch made souls still with us, just think about how DOPE you would look in these. Pair them with some navy blue pants, a crewneck sweatshirt, overcoat and black beanie and basically make the game implode in on itself, given you're not in the state of California. Because, you see, these are straight illegal on the west coast. It may have taken some time, but gay marriage is finally legal. Killing pythons and turning them into sneakers? Totally unethical since 1973.