Occupation: President
Approximate Weight: 320 lbs.

The 27th President of the United States was a very, very, steezy Republican. Besides his formidable handlebar mustache and sheer girth, he looked awesome in pretty much every photo. Even though it's been said he got stuck in the White House bathtub, you really can't stay mad at a guy who can wear a porkpie hat and petticoat like a real boss.