Image via Complex Original
Some people might think it's silly when they meet somebody who has lived in New York City his or her entire life and has never had the joy and pleasure of driving a car. To that we say, "there's no such thing as pleasure and joy when you're driving in New York City." Solely looking at Manhattan, there are 1.5 million that live in NYC proper. During the day, when everybody comes in to work and visit, that number about doubles, blowing the amount of people on the island to around 3 million.
Most of those 3 million are not driving cars, but it sure as hell feels like it, if you're in one. There is really never a good time to drive in the city, and if you happen to catch a good spot of traffic, you're sure to run into another jam within a few minutes. To anybody who has ever thought about buying a car here, we would like to shout, "STOP." Let us make our case with these 9 Reasons It's Stupid To Own a Car in New York City.
The traffic is unbearably suffocating.
We can personally tell you that driving any car, let alone the numerous 400-plus-horsepower sports cars that we get, in these God forsaken streets has been the worst driving environment we've ever been in. Any time you start to see any sort of opening in traffic bigger than two car lengths, you are overwhelmed with what we can only assume was the same feeling that Moses' followers felt when they saw him part the Red Sea.
There are constantly cars coming out garages, pulling out of parking spots, darting into the street, you're constantly cut off, and you're bound to end up right in front of a blaring ambulence stuck in a position where it's literally impossible to move your vehicle. It's a great feeling knowing you're possibly contributing to the death of another person. Really, it's just stellar.
Meaning you're guaranteed to get stressed out from all the honking for no reason.
And when you're hearing is not being impared by official city vehicles, the dumbass cabs around you who are sitting on their horns, because that's obviously the a solution that will solve all traffic problems and probably the city's homeless problem, as well. Just keep honking guys, try doing it to the tune of the Zelda flute, we heard it will turn your meter into a money press.
When you get to your destination, it's nearly impossible to find parking.
The amount of times you're creeping up on what you think is an open parking spot only to see that there is a fire hydrant or "NO STANDING" sign will infuriate you to the point where you'll probably want to rip out your steering wheel, whip it at an innocent (well, annoying, but innocent) passing-by tourist, kick your own car's bumper curse in a language you didn't even know you knew. But you won't, because you know you'll end up as a viral Vine, so you suppress it and make it all better with shots at happy hour like the rest of the city.
Then, when you do, NYC has one of the highest parking rates in the country.
After you've thrown your imaginary fit in your head, you'll probably have another one when you have to hand over $50 for leaving your car somewhere for a few hours.
Dealing with people and cyclists is just as annoying as dealing with the piles of cars.
You've been sitting at a green light for about 20 seconds, before the traffic finally moves enough for you to step on the gas. But, of course, you still can't move, because #NYC. It starts with one dude, who recognizes the fact that traffic isn't moving and he can walk despite the sign showing a bright yellow hand. And once he goes, it's gameover.
Next is a couple who skeptically follows. Then a group of coworkers out for lunch, then a pedicab and a bicycist, and next thing you know there's a river of people thicker than a stream infested with salmon during mating season. Side effects include sadistic (but extremely satisfying) dreams in which you stomp on the gas and plow through everybody, breaking free onto a magical highway with no cars, no speed limit and nothing but a straight path to your destination.
Your paint doesn't stand a chance.
Unless you choose never to go into the city and you have a garage, where you can safely secure your car every night, driving is basically like throwing your car into a hail storm of horrific, careless parkers, unforgiving backpack and purse zippers, and a general Smörgåsbord of things that can dent or scratch your ride.
And that's not even mentioning the people who spray paint and key for the hell of it. Did you really expect your new ride to stay all shiny in a city? You'd have a better chance of jumping into that needle pit in the Saw movie and not contracting some sort of disease.
Neither do your mirrors.
Reckless drivers, lots of stopping and cars going around each other, cutting everybody off, and small streets are a messy recipe that lead to plenty of busted mirrors. If you take a walk down the street in Manhattan, you'll notice people actually use the ability to fold in the side mirrors. We don't want to live in fear of accidentally forgetting to push them in one time because we were too busy doing a celebratory touchdown dance after perfectly parallel parking.
So you might end up using one of these things.
GAH. Our eyes burn everytime we see a decent car with one of these weird bumper guards on it. There are a couple types. You have the weird flat rubber ones that look like floor matts and sometimes make weirdly sexual sounds when they're flappin in the wind. You have the abhorrent stick-on strips that are the ugly cousin of bedazzled jewels for cars. And then you have the one you see above, which actually won't cause any damage to you paint, but still looks like some sort of weird chinstrap. If this is what we have to do to keep our car safe, we pass.
You are surrounded by one of the best public transportation systems in the world.
We honestly could have made this list a single page, not a list at all. It could consist of two words: public transportation. The New York City subway is so old and seems so complex that many first-time riders get so overwhelmed and convused and just end up taking the J/Z, so they can post an Instagram that they think is uniquely hilarious (sorry, honey, you're about the 123,562 person to do so).
The subway has probably been the single best part of living here in the city. You can go anywhere you want, whenever you want for a pretty cheap price (depending on what car you drive, you could spend $112, which will get you one month of unlimited riding, in a week). And that's just the trains. There are also plenty of buses, as well as the famous NY taxis, if you don't feel like visiting the Ninja Turtles underground.
