What Haters, Stans, and Realists Think of Your Favorite Athletes

By now, you surely know that a stanis a less than complimentary reference to a fictional guy who killed himself and his pregnant girlfriend because Eminem wouldn't send him a hand-written letter. Since nobody writes hand written letters anymore, a modern day stan is someone who spends all day on Twitter tweeting at players and teams he loves, as well as rival fans he hates, in hopes of getting an acknowledgment of his existence before he's issued a restraining order.

A hater isn't much better, tweeting at teams and fans he hates in hopes of attaining bragging rights about who's blocked him to other fans in Twitter exile. As a realist you probably realize that both groups are equally difficult to argue with. They're both dogmatic and can never be convinced that they're wrong. Sometimes the only appropriate reply is a hearty "fuck off."

Only certain athletes seem to attract the obsessives. For instance, you may notice our list excludes Drew Brees and his Arena football numbers. We did our best to narrow this list to those who dominate the age of Internet debate (where you're free to be a gigantic homer or jackass because no one will ever see your face). The eternal question remains: hater, stan or realist, which one are you?

RELATED: Athletes With the Most Annoying Stans on the Internet
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What stans think: That he is the best fighter ever (not just pound for pound). And also that they can't wait to see the next picture he takes with his stacks.
What haters think: That he's afraid of Manny Paquiao. And also that he's a giganto douche for hanging around with Justin Bieber.
What realists think: He's legit, but the slow death of boxing is dwindling the talent pool which provides today's fighters with less and less wins worthy of celebration.

When boxing officially croaks the history books will point to an inability to generate fights people would've actually wanted to see. At this point, Pacquiao appears past his prime making one of the few fights that could make the sport relevant again, impossible. Like a lot of the entrants on this list there's two sides of the argument with the stans and haters representing the extremes. Mayweather's undefeated record is impressive and his defensive skills are up there with the all-time greats but we'd be shocked if many people could list five Hall of Famers that he's beaten in their prime.

What stans think: Brett who?
What haters think: *Whining voice* When's he gonna give that guy his salary?
What realists think: He's a stud.

The irony's not lost that the town that slurped Favre for 16 years (and wore No. 4 jerseys that said "God" on the back) has totally whitewashed their history with the greying QB for a younger, sleaker model (that throws far less picks). Hate around Rodgers seems to echo that his 15-1 team didn't even make the Super Bowl, and that (as of now) he only has one ring. You'll notice a trend of hating revolves around a lack of championships even in instances where the guy's already won one. Our advice would be to lean towards "Stanning" him without looking up his home address, because in a decade we'll remember this guy as one of the Top 5 QB's who ever lived.

What stans think: ESPN bias prevents Durant's exposure as the "true" best player in the league.
What haters think: Where's his ring?
What realists think: He's probably the second best player in the league right now. When did that become a bad thing?

He's playing in a dinky market in an era where sports journalism decides to only focus on a handful of stories. That being said, Durant still gets his own bit of shine. He's been on magazine covers, he's a four-time All-Star and he's got his scoring titles. Given time he'll get a ring and, eventually, be enshrined in the Hall of Fame. Like we already mentioned, stans and haters live in the now, with little patience. Then again without them sports radio would die, and you'd have nothing to scoff to yourself at while stuck in traffic.

What stans think: This guy has Stans?
What haters think: He's a diva who doesn't exert full effort on the court. He's also soft and couldn't handle L.A.
What realists think: That he has the potential to be this generation's Shaq but he'll probably never come close.

There's not much to say about him. He's good, but could be great. It's a cliche that a coach probably told you at some point in your athletic career. The only difference is with him it's true.

What stans think: Dan Marino with 4.4 speed.
What haters think: A flash in the pan. Plus, what kind of dickhead let's people buy him gifts!? (Something he had to apologize for).
What realists think: That he suffered a torn ACL less than 10 months ago.

Just because Adrian Peterson heals as fast as Wolverine doesn't mean everybody (or anybody) else can, especially at full strength. Now RG3 has to get on the field to satisfy the crazies that say FOH to a doctor. It's the 'new normal' that's going to end at least one great career (if not several). In the next few months, barring a setback, you'll see him return to what he is. Just don't expect him to be 100% (despite what he says in interviews) until next season.

What stans think: San Francisco's Mount Rushmore: Kaepernick, Montana, Young. In that order.
What haters think: Why is Colin Kaepernick on this list?
What realists think: His rise to stardom was a welcome surprise, but it takes more than half-a-season to become elite.

Let's just make this simple. Players who burst onto the scene sometimes need a few starts to grasp the speed of the game, while others flourish and make the NFL look like Pop Warner. Kaepernick was the latter. Either way, it comes down to adjustments. Grizzled defensive coordinators are going to use your game tape to plan against you from now until retirement. Whether or not you can adjust is going to dictate your rankings amongst the elite. With Kaepernick (and Luck, Newton, Griffin, Wilson, etc.) it's still far too early. The stans and the haters of the world jump to whatever conclusions they come up with as quickly as possible and scream at those who say "wait." If you want proof then look no further to the guy who sent Alex Smith to 7-0 Kansas City.

What stans think: Championship or bust.
What haters think: He's soft.
What realists think: He's still only 25 years old.

One of the biggest storylines of the 2013 postseason had to do with a guy who never set foot on the court. Nobody was as maligned as Rose and that polarization was most prevelant in his hometown of Chicago.

There were two camps: The first, demanded that he get out of his folding chair and immediately play like the 2010-11 MVP to lead the Bulls to their first Larry O'Brien since the now deified Michael Jordan was playing. The second, wondered why he should risk re-injuring himself in a season where the Bulls weren't going to beat the Heat anyway. At 23 there's no point in risking the future of the franchise, but (and it's a big Kim Kardashian but[t]) it was worth noting that doctors cleared him to play in March. One prediction's certain: If he returns to form then you'll see a hater-to-Stan formation that's strong in the heart of the fairweather fan.

What stans think: The best DE in the country, period.
What haters think: Paul Finebaum called him "The biggest joke in college football."
What realists think: The best DE in the country someday. Maybe.

Paul Finebaum is a professional hater who is an inspiration to the broke amateurs of the internet. That being said, Clowney is still a physical freak (in an era where that term is overused) and a virtual lock to move to Jacksonville. The realist doesn't wonder whether college prodigies look ahead to the life of multi-millions and big city groupies, but Clowney says he's hurt which makes living up to his unrealistic Heisman hype that much harder.

If you're in Columbia right now and were expecting more from the guy who did this, we hear ya, but you live with the five-star recruit, and you die with the five-star recruit. After all that noise about sitting out this season to preserve himself for the NFL, you probably should just be thankful that you're getting anything out of him.

What stans think: That Jeter is as beloved all over the country as he is in N.Y.
What haters think: That every one of his 3,316 hits was either a swinging bunt, a blooper, or one of those pop-ups over Yankee Stadium's right field fence.
What realists think: That he was the best non-steroid infused SS of his time.

The mistake that New York and Boston (and ESPN) seem to make is that they think everyone wants those two markets stuffed down their holes anytime there's talk about baseball. Because of that misconception, Derek Jeter has become the unofficial sweetheart of America's pastime. You think this past season's forced Mariano craze was groan inducing? Wait until No. 2 retires. Final verdict: He's a first ballot Hall of Famer, no question. His sheer volume of hits alone makes him qualified. Barring any horrific injuries there's no doubt he'll finish his career in the top five of that category. But his legacy as a winner is pretty eye roll inducing because how many banners would he have hung if he was "The Captain" in Kansas City?

What stans think: Skip Bayless said he'd rather have Tim Tebow in the fourth quarter than Aaron Rodgers.
What haters think: That he's terrible.
What realists think: That he's terrible.

There's a reason even the Jaguars haven't picked him up in a season where they know they're destined for 0-16. He couldn't even start over Mark Sanchez, or Greg McElroy. Those are some serious drawbacks to a guy who should be entering the prime of his career in the next season or two.

We understand why ESPN did what they did, but they sacrificed their sporting integrity for cheap ratings from people who don't have the time to research the game 24/7. Tim Tebow, the human, seems like a great guy who your mother would point to and say *your mom's voice* "Why can't you be more like that Timmy Tebow?" But Tim Tebow, the NFLer, was an awful thrower who benefited from a once outstanding defense in the Mile High City.

That playoff win over the Steelers was memorable, but it was a fluke in a year they won the AFC West at 8-8 and lucked into a few close victories (Jets, Chargers, Bears) that were abysmal representations of NFL football.

What stans think: He was already the best college player of all-time as a freshman.
What haters think: That he's a dick for acting like a 20-year-old.
What realists think: With the spread, increased games, etc. you're seeing more and more inflated numbers for QBs.

There's a fine line between legitimate criticism and vented frustration due to an unfulfilling life. But Manziel's an interesting case because it shows how rabid fans have become, even towards those who're working for free (minus a signed football here and there). To avoid being a stan or hater, perspective is important. He just finished his teen years. Think of where you were at. If you were volunteering at soup kitchens and training seeing-eye dogs then feel free to unload on him. Through your good deeds you've earned the right to tell the rest of us just how terrible we are. But for everyone else, the odds are you've done something worse than miss a QB camp because you were hungover.

What stans think: GOAT...no debate.
What haters think: That he's not even the best QB amongst the Manning boys.
What realists think: That (at 37) he's still a number one overall pick in Fantasy, but the playoffs are definitely a choking hazard.

This guy ages like some guy who doesn't age. He's playing better now then he ever did, which really makes us scared of how good he'll be in his 50s. It's been phenomenal to watch every season up until, just about, January when he inexplicably forgets that he's Peyton effing Manning and wilts.

Both he and Brett Favre have postseason legacies that are marred with interceptions in the most clutch of situations. That pick to Corey Graham last season broke the hearts of the Denver faithful and gave ammo to trolls who could say (for one more year) that "Tim Tebow's won more playoff games in Denver than Peyton Manning." Peyton then came back on opening night and threw 7 TDs because it was the regular season and that's what he does in the regular season.

To be honest his playoff letdowns make the sport interesting, because if he was as good in the second season as he was in the regular, then the Colts would've won just about every championship from 2000 to 2010.

What stans think: The PGA is all about Tiger Woods and it's only a matter of time before he catches Jack Nicklaus.
What haters think: That his wife almost killed him with a golf club. And that the failure to win more majors means you suck.
What realists think: It's unclear. Maybe something did happen to Tiger when it was revealed that he'd rather pee on a pornstar's face than spend a night out with his wife.

There's never much debate in the mind of a stan. Either you accept their conclusion or you better be prepped for an all-CAPS assault and some way-overboard comments about what a "MORAN" you are. Tiger Woods had an opportunity to be the PGA's Babe Ruth. And instead, he opted to plow every "10" who walked into his eyesight.

We can't say that wasn't the right choice, but, it's changed him from a "not if but when" record breaker to a living "Can he snap the slump?" storyline. The bottom line is that Woods is still a really solid golfer, he just fails to win majors. You know who also fails to win majors consistently? Pretty much everybody else in the history of the tour. Not being dominant doesn't mean he suddenly blows, it just means that the PGA will forever have two Tiger eras. The Pre-Pornstar Banging Era. And the Post-Pornstar Banging Era.

What stans think: That he's better than Jordan. Jordan said he wasn't sure if he could beat Kobe one-on-one so there's proof!
What haters think: That he's *yawns* on par with AI, T-Mac, and Dirk. Shaq's responsible for three of those five rings on his fingers.
What realists think: That he's an aging and maturing baller in the twilight of his (super) superstardom who's benefitted from being on incredibly talented teams.

You can't blame a guy for being put on a dominant team. Like the aforementioned Jeter, Kobe's situation is chicken and egg. Does Kobe win titles because he's on the Lakers? Or, do the Lakers win titles because they have players like Kobe? That's a debate that's, believe it or not, conductable without the dropping of any four-letter words.

One of the knocks on Kobe was that he didn't have a non-Shaq aided ring. Then he won in 2008-09 and the hater said "fluke." Then he won in 2009-10 and the hater said "Jordan had six." That's what we were referencing in the intro about being unable to alter anyone's mind who's joined either of these two contemptable groups. You just have to accept it as part of the reality of being a fan.

What stans think: That he's God's gift to basketball.
What saters think: That all his basketball accomplishments are irrelevant because he's balding and he'll never be MJ.
What realists think: That he's without a doubt the best player in the game right now, but his legacy is yet to be determined.

LeBron's well-rounded game is unmatched in the NBA today. Where that puts him in history is reserved for ESPN to kill time on a slow news day, or people whose asses can talk on Internet message boards. Again, he's still in his twenties. The best time to judge a career is after it's complete, not before it's reached the halfway point.

Bottom line: When LeBron's on the court, you notice. Stans think he's going to need three hands for all the rings he'll have someday. Realists wonder why he couldn't do it in Cleveland. And haters are obsessed about the positioning of his headband. It's up to you to look in the mirror, decide what you are, and then lie and say you're a realist.