The 25 Greatest Trash-Talkers in WWE History
From Classy Freddie Blassie to Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Image via Complex Original
Nothing sets the mood better then dropping a line about an opponent's girl before dropping him with a German suplex. Whether it's a promo or a new storyline these grapplers delivered their lines with the enthusiasm of a coked up, 'roided out...oh, wait. Without trash-talk to hype the match there is no context. Does it get a little over the top delving into a soap opera at times? With most wrestlers, yes. But these guys deliver the corny lines with prose and charisma. They put the "smack" in SmackDown! They are the best at hyping what they do (or did). We hope it's a slow day at work because you're gonna be here for awhile. Check out the 25 Greatest Trash-Talkers in WWE History and tell your boss how you really feel.
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25. Jesse "The Body" Ventura
WWE career: (1980-1986)
Notable beefs: Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino, (Post Career: John Cena)
Best line: (Referring to Hulk Hogan) "The chump will run, the chump will hide and I'll have to chase him down!"
"The Body" with his chest puffed out and his voice booming had a delivery that was pure '80s. Unfortunately, exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam shortchanged his career. With his bravado he was a natural for the announcer's booth and even later as a tough-talking politician. The best or worst (probably worst) thing about him? He got even crazier with age.
24. Mr. Perfect
WWE career: (1982-84), (1988-1996), (2002)
Notable beefs: Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger
Best line: (While smashing Hulk Hogan's title belt) "I'll destroy every belt until you give me a title shot the Perfect way!"
Mr. Perfect crossed a line that one shalt not cross when he smashed Hogan's championship belt. A man's wife, kids; anything is fair game, except for destroying that waistline trophy. A distraught Hogan could barely compose himself as he looked into the camera and proceeded to go ape shit. Sometimes you have to get creative and this simple act of destruction got Perfect on many a wrestling fans radar and catapulted him into stardom. This took him from being the lackey of "The Genius" to showcasing his own developed, bonified and unique persona.
23. Superstar Graham
WWE career: (1975-1987)
Notable beefs: Jimmy Valiant, Bruno Sammartino, Vince McMahon (actual dispute over steroids)
Best line: (While wearing a Marilyn Monroe t-shirt): "Marilyn Monroe looks her best when she is sitting on the Superstar's chest."
Arnold Schwarzenegger's former lifting partner could scream into a microphone as well as anyone. The above video is a straight up rant with no real narrative but he's talking down to a lot of people and that's what we like. Not only could the guy—who Hulk Hogan lifted his look from—play a heel while most of this list was still in diapers but he could spit it better than anyone on here as well (sorry, Cena).
22. Ravishing Rick Rude
WWE career: (1987-1990), (1996-97)
Notable beefs: Paul Orndorff, Jake Roberts, The Ultimate Warrior
Best line: "What I'd like to have right now is for all you fat, out of shape, San Francisco sweathogs to keep the noise down while I take my robe off and show all the ladies what a real man is supposed to look like."
Rick Rude was one of the greatest villains in the history of pro wrestling. He was the intimidation newcomers feel at the gym personified. His feud with Jake the Snake was secondary only to the greatest of rivalries like Andre-Hulk and Rock-Stone Cold. The peak of Rude's feud with Roberts occurred when Rick attempted to kiss "The Snake's" wife only to get slapped instead. (He then grabbed her wrist when her hubby came to her predictable rescue).
On another occassion, he came out in tights with Mrs. Roberts stenciled on the front. Some of you readers out there may be more laid back, but to us, having the leading lady in our lives penicled on Rude's sack would have us challenging the man to a fight (which we'd lose). Rude also stuck it to crowds on the regular feeding off the chorus of boos like only a great "bad guy" could.
21. Kurt Angle
WWE career: (1998-2006)
Notable beefs: Rikishi, The Rock, Chris Benoit, Brock Lesnar, Eddie Guerrero
Best line: "Later on tonight, I'll be facing the man many people have referred to as the 'Big Red Retard.' Now, not that I have anything against retards. In fact, many of my biggest fans are retards."
Kurt Angle was a surprisingly funny dude and he loved to piss people off by talking down to crowds (a wrestling staple). If he ever made his "Olympic comeback" we're sure many fans, still jilted in towns across America, would pull for a massive Russian for gold to silence Angle's yap. That brings us to his "rap" (above). When Biggie and Tupac left this Earth the rap world had a void. Luckily for all of us these two took the torch and never looked back. Okay, maybe we could've found a better example.
20. Terry Funk
WWE career: (1985-86), (1998), (2006-present)
Notable beefs: Jerry Lawler, Junkyard Dog
Best line: On Jerry Lawler: "He looks like Bob Barker on a bottle of Ensure."
We'd expect nothing less from the guy who went totally beserk in his WWE debut. "I'll die in that ring." Not even for a second do we doubt that (he's still wrestling at 69 years old).
19. Triple H
WWE career: (1995-present)
Notable beefs: Duke Droese, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton (and The Legacy), The Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, The Rock, CM Punk
Best line: "Suck it!"
D-Generation X's "Suck it!" won me so many middle school arguments that I was recruited to be the debate team captain. There's just no comeback for it. And though Triple H wasn't the only wrestler to ever use that line, his underrated comedic side is what gets him on this list. Just remember his most popular utterance next time you're in a jam. Works best in rundown neighborhoods, biker bars, or The Middle East.
18. Jerry Lawler
WWE career: (1992-present)
Notable beefs: Andy Kaufman (Pre-WWE), Bret and Owen Hart, Vince McMahon, Doink the Clown, Jake Roberts (As an announcer: Jonathon Coachman, now of ESPN, Al Snow, The Miz and Michael Cole)
Best line: "You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks she could star in TV westerns...if she had two more legs."
You'd expect an announcer to know how to talk and "The King" was no exception. We know the Jerry Lawler-Andy Kaufman feud happened pre-WWE but something this iconic deserves an exception. If you could play off a bigshot comedian like Kaufman you knew you had some chops. The two had such great chemistry together that some still don't know this was staged.
17. Dusty Rhodes
WWE career: (1989-1991), (2005-present)
Notable beefs: Randy Savage, Queen Sherri, Virgil, Ted DiBiase, Randy Orton
Best line: "And there were two bad people! One was John Wayne, and he's dead, brother. And the other one's right here."
In this video he sounds like a man running for political office. Save the talking points and canned speeches, we prefer a man with unrestrained anger to control our nuclear arsenal. We also prefer a man who wouldn't hesitate for a moment to bodyslam Putin through a table if it were called for in the midst of a negotiation.
16. John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL)
WWE career: (1996-present)
Notable beefs: Batista, Rey Mysterio, The Boogeyman, Chris Benoit, The Undertaker
Best line: "There haven't been any terrorist attacks on American soil since I've been champion! The economy has improved since I've been champion!"
When you're a heel it's good to be a racist. After all, who doesn't want to hate on a racist? His crowd trash-talk further made him the man everyone loves to hate. Life needs villains and JBL steps up. Though we have no idea what "You're going to jail like you've never been there before!" means.
15. John Cena
WWE career: (2001-present)
Notable beefs: Chris Jericho, JBL, Triple H, Kevin Federline, The Nexus, CM Punk, Kane, GM John Laurinatis
Best line: "My style's fat like Siragusa, Tony."
By John Cena we mean the Thuganomics version of John Cena. He may be one of the shittiest rappers who ever lived but for some reason we could watch him do it all day. When you make a Tony Siragusa reference and follow with a nod to the most underrated member of the 500 HR club...it's officially shut down.
14. Jim Cornette
WWE career: (1993-2005)
Notable beefs: Actual disputes with Head Writer Vince Russo and wrestler Anthony Carelli
Best line: "Pimpin' ain't easy but it sure looks fun."
Cornette was unpredictable. The target of his scorn could've been anything from a weak performance to the brass of the company that paid him. Sometimes he even praised rival WCW. He lived out the ultimate employee's fantasy by criticizing his boss over and over again to a national audience making his rants (which were WWE produced) the stuff of legend. When you find out that many of his riffs were actually staged it's akin to finding out Santa Claus is a fat fucking lie from the people you trusted the most.
13. Ted DiBiase
WWE career: (1979), (1987-1996)
Notable beefs: Hulk Hogan, Hercules, Jake Roberts, Big Bossman
Best line: "Everyone has a price for the Million Dollar Man!" (Evil laughter)
Who hasn't had a rich man screw them over in life? DiBiase played that persona perfectly as a heel the common man could unite against. You know that rich guy who throws his money around while you take a second job to make rent? That was DiBiase. You know that guy who pays a kid to dribble a basketball 15 times then kicks it away on number 14? Nope? Never see an asshole that big? Now you have. It made it all the more infuriating when you realized he could talk a big game, too. Our advice? Just don't let this guy work a crowd at an Occupy rally.
12. Macho Man Randy Savage
WWE career: (1985-1994)
Notable beefs: Tito Santana, George Steele, Bruno Sammartino, The Honky Tonk Man, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, Ric Flair
Best line: "You will eat my rear rockets and like it! Ohhhh yeahhh!"
That voice is pure bliss. It's as sweet to us as crack is to Lindsay Lohan. It also gives us a craving for Slim Jims for some reason. Macho Man could gab with the best of 'em, we mean "rear rockets?" That's gold. We also love the look of bewilderment when Mean Gene makes small talk with Elizabeth. These promos had character and Savage—who understood that style was as important as substance in this business—could milk them for all they were worth.
11. Hulk Hogan
WWE career: (1979-1980), (1983-1993), (2002-2007)
Notable beefs: Andre the Giant, Earthquake, Macho Man Randy Savage, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H, Vince McMahon
Best line: "I'm the man that made wrestling famous."
Hogan had the mass of a gorilla on steroids and had the energy of a toddler on speed. You put that together and you get the Babe Ruth of wrestling. Before he was an emo reality star borderline pimping his daughter's undeserved entry into the music business, Hogan was the main event. Exuberance is what seperates the good from the great in the squared circle and Hulk radiated it in every match, apperance, and in this case, interview. He knew how important he was to the medium and he let everyone else know. It would've been a marvel to witness if he, Stone Cold, and The Rock were all simultaneously in their primes.
10. The Miz
WWE career: (2004-present)
Notable beefs: John Cena, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, MVP
Best line: "Cause I'm the Miz...and I'm awesome!"
You can tie him but you can't beat him in the douche department. That's his shtick and he's good at it. "Really? Really?" Yeah, dude. You gotta respect a guy who parlayed a spot on Real World/Road Rules Challenge to a gig at WWE.
9. Bobby Heenan
WWE career: (1984-1993)
Notable beefs: Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior
Best line: (After Rey Mysterio, unmasks) "It's Leave it to Beaver!"
Heenan was an excellent heel promoter back in the '80s. His physical wrestling persona, though, was far too cowardly and he often chickened out in moments of confrontation. Despite a few slams to the mat, he maintained his ability to ad-lib making him a natural for the announcer's table after retirement. We're not talking relative to other wrestlers, we mean the dude was actually funny. His rapport with Gorilla Monsoon while calling matches even eclipsed that of J.R. and The King. Hopefully some of you are old enough to scoff at that line and say "no shit."
8. Edge and Christian
WWE career: Christian: (1998-2005), (2009-present); Edge: (1997-2011)
Notable beefs: Gangrel (the start of the Brood), The Undertaker's Ministry of Darkness, The Hardy Boyz, Pretty much every fan
Best line: "Now, speaking of sore-losers, how fitting is it that we are in the capital city of sore-losers: Buffalo, New York! Now, I'm talking Super Bowls, Stanley Cup Finals, O.J.! It so doesn't get anymore depressing than right here!"
Edge and Christian relished in riling up the crowd. They had their schtick down to a science. They used costumes, props, you name it. But that Boston cheapshot? Come on people...let it go.
7. Classy Freddie Blassie
WWE career: (1964-1986)
Notable beefs: Bobo Brazil, Bruno Sammartino
Best line: "The women that I've seen out here, believe me, they're nothing but pigs."
Before the WWE there was the WWF. Before the WWF there was the WWWF. That's the era from which this early promoter reigned. "Classy" Freddie Blassie isn't mind blowing by today's standards but here at Complex we respect our elders. Blassie set the tone for a medium rife with shit talking and established a foundation for the future of self promoting wrestlers. He couldn't fully enjoy the fruits of his labor as he was forced into retirement in 1974 since California wouldn't grant wrestling liscenses to anyone over the age of 55. So remember that you pencil neck geeks!
CM Punk
WWE career: (2005-present)
Notable beefs: Umaga, Rey Mysterio, Triple H, John Laurinaitis, John Cena, The Undertaker, Brock Lesnar
Best line: (To John Cena while he rolls around holding his nads) "You're as good at kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was."
CM Punk is the best talker of the post-Attitude Era. Who else would take the recently deceased Paul Bearer's urn and use it to talk shit to his protege? That's just cold, dude. Punk is cementing his legacy as one of the best bad guys to ever do it.
5. Chris Jericho
WWE career: (1999-present)
Notable beefs: Chyna, Chris Benoit, Christian, The Rock, Goldberg, JBL, (Actor) Mickey Rourke, John Cena, Dolph Ziggler
Best line: To Stephanie McMahon: "Three times babe of the year, huh? Wasn't Babe a talking pig?"
Jericho had a continuous storyline where he was constantly mocking the boss's daughter, the executive vice president's sister and Triple H's wife: Stephanie McMahon. You got to admire a guy who goes (way) overboard on the significant other of the 250-pound Triple H and then knocks him cold with the Intercontinental belt. Our guess is that wouldn't be as easy on the street but you can feel free to try.
4. Rowdy Roddy Piper
WWE career: (1984-1987), (1989-1996), (2003), (2005-present)
Notable beefs: Any interviewee of Piper's Pit, Jimmy Snuka, Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, Adrian Adonis, Bobby Heenan, Chris Jericho, The Ortons
Best line: (Before kicking her) "Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cyndi Lauper."
Rowdy Roddy Piper prided himself on being a dick. That's what he set out to be and he was good at it. Piper's Pit saw Roddy interviewing all of the hot names in the sport and almost unanimously ended with him getting in a fight. That's what happens when you take out a coconut and bash Jimmy Snuka in the head (which surely hurt like hell) and then shoved a banana in his face. It was a move he revived over 15 years later to Rikishi. Those are just two of many, many examples of over the top hooliganism perpetrated by Piper. It really made us wonder why anyone sat down to do interviews with him at all.
3. Stone Cold Steve Austin
WWE career: (1995-2003)
Notable beefs: Bret Hart, Vince McMahon (big time), The Rock, Rikishi, Triple H, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, Debra (A real life domestic dispute)
Best line: (After defeating Jake the Snake) "You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16... Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!"
Austin along with The Rock was the driving force of the Attitude era. There was nothing wrong after coming home from a long day of school or work to watch a hillbilly and a Samoan argue and then fight in predetermined madness. Somehow it made life make sense. Guys like Austin valued both style and substance. He perfected talking shit, chugging a beer and then taking an opponent to the mat. Often it came packaged with a kick to the nuts (whether or not the adversary even had nuts didn't matter). You also got to respect a guy who relentlessly trash-talked and needled the boss. And by needled we meant chased with an ATV.
2. The Rock
WWE career: (1996-2010). (2011-present)
Notable beefs: Ken Shamrock, Triple H (a lot), Mark Henry, Vince McMahon, Mankind, The Undertaker, Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, John Cena
Best line: "The Rock is back to scratch a major itch so enjoy your Fruity Pebbles you yabba dabba bitch!"
The Rock's best line is the slogan Post cereal doesn't have the guts to run during Saturday morning cartoons. If you have a lot of feuds (and above is just a small sample) then you were either very popular or very hated. In the Rock's case, his popularity catapulted him to the self appointed title of "People's Champion." His bulging charisma turned him into the WWE's only legitimate Hollywood success. That more than justifies his place in wrestling lore. Just once in our lives we'd like for The Rock to tell us to shove something up our "roody poo" asses before powerbombing us onto a hardwood floor. That or an autograph.
1. The Nature Boy Ric Flair
WWE career: (1991-93), (2001-present)
Notable beefs: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon, Triple H, Edge
Best line: "You’re talking to the Rolex wearing, diamond ring wearing, kiss stealing, whoo! wheelin dealin’, limousine riding, jet flying son of a gun and I'm having a hard time holding these alligators down!”
If trash-talking is art then Ric Flair is Monet. Dude could bring it to the next level and never really seemed to mail it in. When you're an aging wrestler and your body's so broken down that taking one more DDT will risk paralysis, then all you can do is rest on your persona. That's the reason you still see Flair from time to time. Well that and his outrageously numerous money problems.