10 Best Places for In-Car Make-Out Sessions

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When you hook up at a house party, there is an 85% chance that another couple will stumble into the room you're trying to hook up in and ruin the drunken, sloppy mood. The power locks on your mom's Ford Windstar can solve that problem once and for all. Rather than being the fourth couple to get yelled at for trying to hook up in the host's parents' bedroom, why not duck out to your ride for that one-night stand? Just hope neither of you puke all over the leather interior when the action gets too intense for your volatile, vodka-filled stomaches.

Love is a beautiful thing.

You may not be able to afford to take your girl to the beach this year, but this is the next best thing. Rather than listen to her sob because you can't afford to take her on vacation again because you lost your nest egg betting on the ponies, take her on the soapy ride of her life (well, week). For ten gloriously spot-rinsing minutes, you'll be transported to your own world where there is nothing but you, your lady, and buffing liquid. You might need to get the interior cleaned too after its all said and done, but it will have been well worth it.

Any wooded area is great for an automotive tryst, but state parks are ideal because you are more likely to run into park rangers than the wondering hillbilly psychopaths you are likely to find deep in the forest. It is possible that a park ranger will turn out to secretly be a hillbilly psychopath, so be careful out there kids. Also, if you are going to get kinky and eat sensual foods off of each other, be sure to keep the windows rolled up so as not to attract hungry wildlife.

It is likely that your HR department has forbidden office romances. Here's a way to get around those anal-retentive MBA rejects: if it's not in the office, it's not an office romance. If you want to examine more of a co-worker than just their expense reports, just take it to the parking lot. Be sure to pack a lunch if you go this route though. It will be tough to fit in a trip to Panera Bread and a quickie during your 40-minute lunch hour.

Normally, fooling around in the backseat of the car is a marathon. This is a sprint. From the moment you finish dictating your (and if you are a gentleman, your partner's) order to the static-garbled voice to when the surly cashier passes you the grease-soaked bag containing your food, get in as much heavy petting as possible. It's best to get as hot and heavy as you can, considering how many calories you'll be piling on once that processed food enters your body.

What makes a Wal-Mart parking lot so much more romantic than say, a shopping mall parking lot or a Home Depot parking lot? If you've never fooled around in a Wal-Mart parking lot, you've never truly known romance. First of all, most Wal-Mart Supercenters are open twenty-four hours a day, so, at night, your partner will radiate, bathed in the neon glow of the storefront. Close your eyes and the lines of shopping carts being pushed to and fro by blue-vested employees will invoke sounds of the crashing waves of the sea. Townies walking by in their NASCAR T-shirts and Looney Tunes pajama pants, having just purchased weed whackers and value-packs of boxer briefs, will provide you just the right amount of voyeuristic titillation.

For those of us who can't just jump on a plane and head to Paris, there's always the Wal-Mart parking lot. And for those who can't tell when we're being sarcastic, go eat an oil filter.

Why not take a spin up to that idyllic spot on the hill overlooking your town? In every movie set in the 1950s, couples really seem to enjoy "make-out point." It also looks like people tend to get laid there, as every cinematic high school couple loses their virginity in spots like this. If your town isn't actually idyllic or the elevation isn't particularly high, don't worry, you'll have your eyes closed through most of it anyway; you can just imagine what it would be like if your town looked like a movie set instead of the subject of a documentary on the horrors of poor city planning.

Revenge is a dish best served when combined with sex. That's how it goes, right? Look, we don't advocate slashing your ex's tires or sleeping with the little sister, but there are some small doses of revenge that will make you feel great, and this is definitely one of them. If it happens to be with his or her little sister, though, kudos.

If you are no longer in high school, we strongly recommend you wait to try this spot until all after school activities have ceased for the day and the children have gone home. Nothing ruins the fooling around of two consenting adults like being added to the sex offender registry. If you wait until after dark, this can be a wonderful moment for you and your guy or gal to have a nostalgic evening and get some closure after never getting laid when you were actually in high school.

Back in the day, there was no greater reward than getting to second base while you avoided the vigilant eyes of your date's parents. If your significant other still lives with his or her folks, treasure these moments getting nasty right under the 'rents' noses. If you are dating an independent person who has graduated to a crib, we recommend taking a stroll down memory lane next time you go with her to visit the rents: post up in front of their mailbox and have a good time. What the hell else are you going to do in your significant others' home town? Everything closes at 9.