A Blow-by-Blow Account of the Cincinnati-Xavier Fight

The wild brawl that marred the end of the Cincinnati-Xavier game on Saturday was a disgrace. A travesty for college basketball. An utter, unmitigated disaster...that was, not incidentally, probably the most compelling thing that happened in sports over the weekend.

Are we bad people for wanting to break down the fight frame-by-frame and analyze every uppercut, jab, and kick to the head? Yes. Are we bad people for actually doing it? That, too. Oh well. Sue us. Or kick us in the head if you can find us. Now, open another browser for the video above, and watch our Blow-by-Blow Account of the Cincinnati-Xavier Fight...

Follow @Complex_Sports for more news and commentary.

Ge'Lawn Guyn Sets it Off

Tu Holloway (No. 52 for Xavier, in white) scores a back door layup while up by 21, with 30 seconds left to play. Them's fighting words where Ge'Lawn (No. 14 for Cincinnati) is from.

Dezmine Wells Don't Play No Shit

Holloway's teammate, freshman Dezmine Wells (No. 5 for Xavier), is having none of what Guyn has to offer. Dezmine don't play. As soon as he pushes Guyn to the ground, hysteria follows.

Big Bad Yancy

Yancy Gates (No. 34 for Cincinnati) goes oops upside Wells' head with the basketball and ventures into the scuffle looking for action.

Down Goes Frease!

Gates finds what he's looking for and hooks off on Kenny Frease (No. 32 for Xavier). He hits Frease right on the button, splitting the Xavier big man's forehead.

Cheikh Mbodj aka Young Ammonia

While Frease is knocked the fuck out, Cincy's Cheikh Mbodj (No. 13) decides to wake him with a kick to the back of the head. Surprisingly, it works.

Crawl, Young Man, Crawl

After being pummeled, Kenny Frease crawls to safety like a wounded cat that just lost a battle with a pitbull.

Octavius Ellis Wants Some

Peep the upper right hand corner. Cincinnati's Octavius Ellis (No. 2) is cocked and loaded, but misses his target by a mile.

Dezmine Wells Really Don't Play No Shit

Ellis almost pays the price for his wild haymakers. Xavier's Dezmine Wells and Mark Lyons (No. 10) try to jump Ellis but coaches step in and spare Ellis's face.

Yancy Gates Again

Cincy's Yancy Gates is livid at this point. He grazes the chin of an Xavier benchwarmer and proceeds to scream and pound his chest. He has no challengers.

Swing and a Miss

The Xavier benchwarmer we just mentioned takes a shot at Gates, but misses so badly the NCAA decides not to suspend him. This is why we don't know who the hell he is.

Peacemakers

Yancy wants a piece of the benchwamer, but XU assistant (and ex-NJ Net) Aaron Williams and Xavier's Mark Lyons plead with Yancy to calm down.

Octavius Ellis is Hungry for Blood

Cincy's Ellis is still at it throwing wild Fight Night punches and hits a coach while aiming for a group of Xavier players. This boy needs a new trainer.

Where Am I?

Kenny Frease is bloody and laid out at half-court.

Oh Shit, We Won the Game!

Xavier's Frease comes to and realizes they won by 23 and raises his arms in victory.

Bitch, We Thuggin'

Tu Holloway and Mark Lyons lets the world know that they some gangstas. The End.