There isn't a whole lot going on in the Eastern Conference these days. The Knicks look awful. The Cavaliers are starting to bounce back. Dropping Josh Smith was the magic move that (albeit briefly) set the Pistons ablaze. Toronto x OVO is a power. The Wizards are fulfilling their potential. Yadda yadda yadda. It's kinda boring. Sports is one part human achievement, but the other parts that attract us are all about drama. Where's the drama in the East? The Hawks leading the conference? Ew. People from Atlanta don't even care that much about the Hawks if the attendance numbers are any indicator.
Let's shake things up a little. The Bulls look good, but this is the NBA. Good ain't good enough until you're great, and the Bulls certainly aren't great. And Derrick Rose hasn't been the great we once saw in quite some time. He's not the only problem, but shooting under 41 percent isn't cool. But when Rose is on, he's on, and that's part of what still makes him valuable.
You know where we're going with this. Here are 15 totally serious, not-at-all-joking ESPN Trade Machine-Approved Deals for Derrick Rose that the Bulls absolutely have to do to win a championship. Or, you know, for the entertainment value.